21st January 2013

It's 12.30 in the morning and I'm watching Yeti on NTV7. I can't believe it either. My eyes are wide awake anxious to know what happened to these ugly, carnivorous Yetis (Yes, there are 2 Yetis) and those plane crash survivors. Haha

I should have gone back to work last Monday but I decided to extend my leave using my last year's annual leave. I will start working on the 1st of March. 4 1/2 months at home. Sweet.

Kamil and husband were asleep since 3 hours ago. Husband had headache and Kamil being Kamil, will fall asleep after his bath and wake-up once at around 1. So I have about half an hour to post at least an entry for the blog that I have abandoned for quite sometime now.

*kamil cried*

*resume on 4th February*

It has been 3 1/2 months of leave but I haven't been out of the house that much. My son is a puteri lilin. His face and body turned all red when he is hot. Then later, heat rash came visiting and eczema worsen his condition.

A few days after my confinement period ended, there was this maternity and baby expo held at Midvalley. Planning of going but I was thinking, Kamil was just too little to be exposed to so many people at the expo. What is a few ringgit worth of bargain when your baby ended up sick later.

I still remember how I detested parents bringing small kids and infants out at night (past 9pm) or to crowded places. Therefore, when I have a child myself now , I should not be doing things that I detested before.

Kamil will turn 4 months in 10 days and he has only been out less than 5 times. Wan did most of the shopping and I usually stayed at home. Yes I am bored but I just couldn't risk my baby getting sick infected from the crowd. Ibu will bring Kamil out more often once you're old enough, okay.

Anyways, I gained 14kg when I got pregnant and announcing I have lost 20 kg with the help of  no supplement / slimming product but thanx to Kamil's eczema. I have to be selective of what I eat. Not too much of oily food, no chocolate, seafood, egg, nut. Eating is not fun at all now. Imagine eating satay without it's kuah.*cried*

Ending this entry with:

Please Ibu, can I skip the monthly vaccination?

Be strong

Life with a child is indeed physically and mentally exhausted. No, I'm not complaining at all. We love him so much that we can spend hours just looking at his serene face while he was sleeping soundly and laugh out loud when his face was all red pooping at 3 in the morning. He is our heart and soul.

He came a bit late into our lives, which is after 3 years plus of marriage. There are always reasons for everything. My ustazah once said, when  you wanted something so bad, ask to Allah to answer your prayer only IF it is the best for you. So, when my prayer was not answered, I always believe that Allah knows best for us.

Therefore, having to live together, just the 2 of us for 3 years was actually a time well spent getting to know each other, husband and wife before a child came into the picture. Alhamdulillah, now I see the reason why.

When you've gone through one hell of a pain delivering a baby, it really helps a lot when you have a very understanding husband to take care of you and the baby. I have been nothing but a spoiled wife during the first 2 weeks after delivery (and still am). Husband even took an extra week of leave to take care of me and I almost cried on the first day he had to leave for work after that.

Having a child is not easy. (again not complainin). Worried range is always above scale 7 out of 10.
"Why didn't he poop for 2 days?"
"What is that red rashes on his face?"
etc
etc

Kamil was admitted for jaundice on his 5th day. He had to sleep under phototherapy wearing nothing but diaper. His small hand was set for IV drip, just in case he was dehydrated if he refused to breastfeed. The moment we put him under the light, he cried. Maybe he was cold and uncomfortable not wearing clothes. Ma and husband went back home for a while to pack our clothes while I stayed with Kamil at the ward. Being a mother for merely 5 days, I just sat there crying when he cried, trying to sooth him but to no avail, nothing works so I took him out of his bed and held him in my arms until Ma came back. I just couldn't sit there and see him cried.

IV drip set on his left hand :'(

alhamdulillah, after spending 2 nights there, Kamil was discharged. I wouldn't have gone through it without my mom who was with me for that 2 nights at the hospital.

3 days ago, Kamil was (and is still) down with blocked nose and cough. We couldn't stand seeing how he suffered trying to breath so we brought him (again) to the emergency for paed PPUM. He was put on nebulizer with normal saline and later nasopharyngeal suction was done to suck out the phlegm and mucus from his nose and throat. Imagine having tube into that small nose of him.

Kamil on nebulizer

A nurse took him into the procedure room and parents had to stay outside. A few minutes after that, I heard Kamil cried so loud that I had to be far away from the door. About 10 minutes after that, a nurse brought him to me. His eyes were swollen from crying, eyelashes all wet, his hair was in mess and he was asleep. He must be so tired after crying until he felt asleep. Poor child.

Kamil is only a month old but he has gone through a lot. We as parents have to learn fast about bringing up a child. (No more The Sims, Cityville, Pet Shop or whatsoever. heh.) When a mother wishes she can take away all pain from her child/children, that is absolutely true. I really wish I can take all the uneasiness he's suffering right now. My dear Kamil, we hope you'll grow up stronger.

Hello Lil K

First of all, alhamdulillah we are now parents to a beautiful baby boy.

On my 36 week check-up, the doctor said that the baby is already engaged and labour is on it's way anytime soon, so be prepared. the baby's estimated weight was 3.4kg *panic*

We booked FPP with Hospital Putrajaya with Dr Wan Ahmad Hazim and I still continued my antenatal check-up with the clinic. My EDD was supposed to be on the 26th, but since it falls on Hari Raya, I was asked to check-in on the 23rd to be induced if I haven't delivered yet. I had GDM therefore I can't exceed 40weeks.

13th October 2012
Week 38
We went for a walk at Taman Putra Perdana that morning. We did 2 rounds and it took us 1 hour to complete it. Imagine how slow the pace was. People said, walking is good for breathing practice and stamina. And I personally think that walking at the park in the morning is a great bonding time. Walking hand in hand, the cool weather, the conversation we had (light or serious matter). Furthermore, it's free, you don't have to take a bath or get dress or do make up beforehand and it's healthy. But later, I ate nasi lemak and roti canai banjir for breakfast. (tummy's craving for nasi lemak while typing this entry)

We went back to Ma's house that afternoon. That night, I spotted an early labour sign but still managed to sleep soundly and ate my favourite kebab.

14th October 2012 
Woke up with a shriek when I saw the bloody show after peeing. Husband kept on repeating, let's go to the hospital. I tried to act cool. Nah, this is just an early labour sign.

That morning, a doa selamat that was supposed to be held continued as planned although this daughter created a suspense about giving birth that day. The contraction was bearable but frequent and getting stronger.

We were advised to go to the hospital. I was a bit panic, "so here it is, I'm giving birth today". Ate a plate of Ma's nasi goreng and off we went to Hospital Putrajaya.  I couldn't think straight that I only asked forgiveness from Ma and I was wearing a blouse and kain batik to the hospital. Sloppy I tell you. My journey to giving birth that day was blessed with doa by so many people who attended the doa selamat. I couldn't ask for more.

Arrived at Dewan Bersalin Hospital Putrajaya at 12pm, checked-in and they ran some tests. CTG on my tummy to check on the baby's heartbeat. Heartbeat was ok but baby was very inactive. They set the IV drip and when it was turned on, the baby started kicking. I guess, he was as hungry as the mommy.

Luckily I was on FPP, I was invincible to HO and nurses. Every decision were made based on Dr.Hazim's word. No VE done by some random HO.

VE was done around 2.00pm. 4cm! (And it wasn't painful)

I was sent to the ward. I asked husband to buy me porridge and coffee (demanded Starbucks specifically) for energy to push later but he came back with A&W burger instead. Alamanda was jam packed with people because of the Idola Kecil thing and husband just couldn't risk spending too much time away from me.

Contraction was getting stronger. I managed to ate 2 pieces of kek pisang served while I was at the ward before VE was done again. 5cm++ at 4.30pm and I was pushed to the labour room (after enema).

At the labour room, the pain was unbearable. I remembered Ma's word to recite Allah name, selawat everytime I was in pain and to take deep long breath. Husband never left me and always by my side. I asked for his forgiveness and all. Fear of death suddenly clouded my mind. He looked worried.

A doctor came around 6.00pm, did VE again and my water broke. I was already 6cm++ dilated. Dr. Hazim then came and I was 8cm dilated. I couldn't stand the pain. I was asking for epidural or any kind of painkillers. But it was kind of too late for that. I was dilating fast.

At around 7.30pm, they prep me for labour. Dr Hazim said that he can feel the baby's head already. I was excited to push. They thought me to count while pushing.

The pushing began. I tried the best I could. However, after less than 5 pushes, the baby's heartbeat was dropping. So the doctor decided to do the vacuum procedure. There were so many nurses around me. 2 were holding my legs because I kept clutching them together, another sat next to me, advising me not to close my eyes while pushing. Husband told me, the first and second attempt failed because of the equipment (damn you Radicare) and the doctor requested for another equipment. I tried my best to give the longest and the strongest push, (I can feel the episiotomy y'all) and the third attempt succeeded.

A nurse put the baby on my tummy, but he wasn't crying. I cried instead. I managed to touch him but they quickly took the baby out of the room, a paediatrician was on standby mode outside the labour room to attend to my baby. I was worried sick and I couldn't feel a thing they did to me later after the delivery.

Then I heard a baby's cry. My baby finally cried. I cried. The stitching activity lasted for about 15 minutes done by Dr. Hazim himself. I asked him how long was the episiotomy and he just replied "Normal for first timer". Cheh. Not long after that, I heard the husband recited the azan. I sobbed continuously eventhough I couldn't witness it myself.

Still in the labour room, the nurses cleaned me up and brought in some food. I don't feel like eating at all eventhough I only had nasi goreng and kek pisang that day.

Husband came in, with tears in his eyes. He took my hand, kissed my forehead and said thank you. I never see him cried and today he did. I couldn't utter a word and kept on sobbing. I felt so loved. I pray that this baby will make our relationship stronger. A nurse brought the baby in, he's so tiny and cute. My crying continues and said to husband, "wow, I managed to get this out, awesome"

The moment of silent, we just stared at him. We named him Kamil. Just Kamil. A name that we have already decided when we knew the gender.

Fresh from my womb.
Born on 14 October 2012 at 1953hours, 54cm long, 3.25kg
We waited 3 years ++ for you dear.

We spent the first night with Lil Kamil as parents at the hospital. Lucky for me, single bed room was available that day. Ma came to see me for a while. And I just cried while hugging her, sobbing trying to utter "So this is like giving birth. How did you manage to do this 6 times"

Lil Kamil latched perfectly but I didn't have enough to make him feel full so the nurses gave him formula milk. Otherwise he couldn't sleep and kept on crying. I was extremely tired that night and slept most of the time, husband was the one who took care of Kamil all night, woke up every one hour when Kamil was crying. Up till now, husband was the one who woke up first everytime Kamil cried at night. I am blessed with a good husband. Alhamdulillah.

Ibu, I managed to get my hands out of the swaddle.

Kamil is now 24 days old. Ibu is now at her pre-pregnancy weight. another less than 10kg to get back my DPA weight. Yay..

Well anyway, giving birth and having a child on my own has thought me to appreciate my mom more than anything else. Having to carry the baby for 9 months wasn't easy and giving birth was so freaking painful beyond words. You love your child so much, you will cry when anything is not right with him, your heart aches to see him in pain and these are among fews what our mothers had gone through bringing us up.

I heart my mom and husband a lot.

The big leap

11 August 2012, marked the day we received the keys to our own house. The process was delayed for so many reasons but in the end, the house is ours now and luckily we didn’t have to pay a cent more for the extended period.

Some of you may have known that we bought a subsale house located in Bandar Baru Bangi. For the price we paid for it, some say we can get a new single storey semi-D, but we stick with our principles that we bought this property because of its established location and the facilities surrounding it (and hopefully it’ll be easier to sell later on when we decided to upgrade our house, In shaa Allah).

And of course, what is subsale if the word renovation doesn’t come along with it. Brought Ma to our house last Thursday and she has these ideas of things we should do to the house. Sought advises from friends who have experiences dealing with renovation and it helps a lot for newbies like us. We are in the midst of doing checklist ranked by priority and we hope the list isn’t growing when the contractor started doing his job and later found those little things which are hidden but extremely important.

At the same time, I really wish that this happened last year; the time when I am not 8 months pregnant and I can actively go here and there running errands excitedly concentrating on the house ONLY.

Ok, the baby just kicked. A little bit angry with that statement maybe.

I am entering 32 weeks and started to walk like a penguin when I am lazy. Husband is really good imitating it. Alhamdulillah, baby and mommy are doing fine. At this stage, the weight gained so far is 7kg and baby is 1.6kg. I look fat because my pre-pregnancy weight was a little bit overweight. 8 weeks to go, I hope I won’t balloon-up successfully.

I did OGTT 2 weeks ago. The moment the doctor asked me to do OGTT, I remembered the taste of warm, extremely sweet glucose mixture which the nutrition lecturer gave us to taste 8 years ago. Luckily, the one I had to go through wasn’t that bad. It was still extremely sweet but tolerable with blackcurrant flavor. The bad thing was, the nurse couldn’t find my vein and I went home with bruises of 5 attempts to get the blood sample.

Baby and the house are on the way. I hope the house can be settled before the delivery (so that I can keep checking on the contractor’s work frequently) but I think it is rather impossible.

2 major things are happening at the same time in our life right now *panic*

Funny when husband is so eager surveying the baby stuff while I on the other hand is so excited about the house.

The conversation at home most of the times went like this:

Me with the laptop: I think nyatoh is quite reasonable for our kitchen cabinet. I don’t like 3G glass, it’s just too shiny but solid pine wood is so classic....
Husband with the tablet: It says here, a good baby carrier is the one that supports the hip and spine therefore the baby's knees must be higher than the hip when he's in the carrier. Erg0 fits the criteria....

I believe that everyone was born with the same level of tolerance.
Pain, taste, anger, stress etc.. but how they were raised-up may change their tolerance compare to others as they grow-up.

I was talking to a few friends about work. (yes, we have nothing to talk about but work) and we kept comparing each other who has the worst. Funny when all of us wanted to win in that conversation.

I think I have the worst type. I was so eager to win and I even said to one of them, "How come you said yours is the worst, I saw you commented on every status on fb like every 10 minutes everyday. I don't even have time to pee" (Well, she did comment on fb like all the time and I just couldn't stand it when she said she has lotssssssssss of things to do ;)

It's totally unfair to belittle someone who is under so much stress for something you think is a puny problem compares to yours. Her background and many other things may be different from you. Hardship does make you stronger. Someone who has never dealt with difficulties in life may have problems facing even something so small.

So, grow-up yaya and be cool or you'll end up having no friends :D

Happy Ramadhan everyone!

Day 3 and mommy yaya belum ponteng puasa lagi :)

Time well spent

There's nothing that'll make me happier than to see him happy.

Saturday ended up nicely but was a little bit chaotic during the day.

It started with doing some housechores. Later we rushed back to attend my husband's family picnic by the waterfall. The water wasn't that clean so I dare not joined in the fun.

We went back to Ma's house to have a quick shower and rushed to KLCC. When we are in a hurry, there are always something that came in between. Traffic jam, took the wrong turn at the parking lot and ended up paying RM4.20 for nothing, crowded surau, hot fried chicken for dinner.

In the end, we made it just in time for the show.

A late birthday gift for my husband.

I am not a fan but M.Nasir's performance that night's awesome. He's a great singer and entertainer. Baby was kicking during the whole show that night. It's whether he/she likes it or he/she couldn't sleep because of the loud music.

The money was worth spent and hey, it's our first concert together. Anuar Zain's next? :D

Mom's cooking

I'm at Hotel Putra KL. Husband has a 4-day course here, so I took a day off from work hoping that I can relax a bit. Unfortunately, the phone just couldn't stop ringing since this morning.

We came here from ma's house. It touches me whenever we wanted to leave the house after visiting her, she's always so excited to give something for us to bring back even as small as a few oranges she just bought from the market. Moms will always be moms eventhough I come back to see her every weekend.

Today, she packed pulut durian and 4 oranges as 'bekal' for me at the hotel. I know I shouldn't be eating too much pulut or durian but it just so irresistible. Sorry hotel, you said no durian but not such thing as cooked durian and the room doesn't smell that bad.


Ma's cooking are the best. A simple dish such as fried fish with kicap cili tasted better when she cooked it. It's the power of love :)

The past

I attended my ex-bf's wedding recently because his mother and him personally invited me and for the sake of meeting up old school friends. Husband was ok with it. Never had any problem when it comes to exes.

Reminiscing about us, we had a good break-up or as far as I remember we never actually went to the extend of saying "we should go separate ways" and cried a few weeks. We just drifted away after school ended.

His mom likes me. I was the good, school nerd girl back then. So she thinks I was a good example to his son. I don't know if it's true but he once told me his mom always gave him a big sum of money to him if he told her he's going on a date with me.

I was always a rational and an objective girl (and my objectives in life were usually influenced by tv dramas I watched everyday, hahaha but they turned up to be good).

Therefore, I always knew the quality I want for a future husband and for me, childhood sweethearts hardly ended up together. So I was actually doing his mom a favour by being at his side for him to go through spm and I really cared for him as a dear friend.

Seeing him on the dais that night, I just can't imagine myself being the bride next to him. As I looked at my husband finishing up his food hungrily in front of me, I believe the ex and I had made the right decision by drifting away and choosing our own paths 11 years ago.

I didn't go and greet him that night because the last time I heard, the bride had issues with me being his ex and even forbade him attending my wedding. Oh well, what can I say, I am much prettier. hahahahaha.

Kidding...

Updates about the baby and us

Junior is entering 23 weeks next week. Time is moving too fast and the moment I realised it, the tummy is growing bigger and I kept on complaining "I don't have anything nice to wear to work" to husband every morning.

Alhamdulillah, at this stage I can move around like usual, I can drive, no swelling, stretch marks or weird cravings and it really helps with my work.

At times, I think we are a pair of not-the-super-excited parents. We love this baby so much even though we have only seen him/her in the screen of black and grey. Maybe because I'm perfectly ok, we sometimes forget I'm carrying a life in my tummy/uterus. You get what I meant?

-________________-

The first time I felt the baby kicking was while I was reading and husband was inspecting his racket.

me: B, the baby is kicking now, come put your hand here.
husband: where? (still couldn't figure it up)
me: here. (getting annoyed)
husband: oooooo..
me: (wasn't sure if he really felt it)
later
both of us: (continued doing what we did before)

See...
Some first-timer mothers may streaming down tears but I was like, okay, acting all cool.

I talk to my baby a lot especially when I'm annoyed. Advising him/her not to be like the one I'm complaining about. I hope he/she grows up well. having kid(s) is the biggest responsibility ever.

It has only been 23 weeks and ibu is having nightmares about labour already....

Cat story

This is Ginny, my bro wan's cat. Ma went to KB for a week with my other brother. Therefore Ginny was left with my dad. Bro Wan insisted that I take Ginny to my house for the time being.

We brought him back last Sunday. The moment she went out of the carrier, she was in shock and hid herself at the corner in the prayer room refused to eat. Husband kept checking on her every 1 hour. Ah, I hope he still does this when the baby comes out.

At last, after maghrib, she went out of her hiding place. She strolled all over the house, following us every where we went, meowing. When it's time to sleep, we closed the room door leaving her in the living room. We even left the fan on so that she didn't feel warm and could sleep soundly.

However, she ended up meowing outside the door and kept on scratching it once in a while the whole night. We couldn't sleep. We opened the door once, she came in the room but she wanted to sleep with us on the bed. So we left her outside the room again, and the meowing started.

We decided to take her back to ma's house and asked dad to take care of her. She must be missing her boyfriend or my house has something that scares her. During lunch hour, we came home but couldn't find her anywhere. Later, we found her sleeping at the back of the tv cabinet.

Reaching ma's house, took her out of the carrier, she looked content and happy. Golek2 left, right and slept at that very moment.

Even animals can feel homesick, eh?

What EURO?

My house doesn't have Astr0 and my husband sleeps at 10 (and sometimes earlier) every night. However, he jokingly said he supports France because Neel0fa does.
-________________-

B is for baby

I've written this long ago but I kept it as draft until I think I'm ready to tell my friends about it.









tadaaaaaaa.......





Alhamdulillah, I'm 14 weeks pregnant now.

I'm sorry for keeping it too long. We were just too scared that the same thing will happen again so we better keep it from others for a while until we knew that the baby is fine.

Alhamdulillah, lil one and mommy are fine. A big thank you to my beloved family and friends who never stop praying for us :)

During the early pregnancy period, I was advised by the doctor to be extra careful. I had spotting and needed a few visits to the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit (EPAU).

The moment I saw the first heartbeat at week 7 on the screen, I cried. Too bad, the future daddy wasn't there in the EPAU room to witness it.

Work is still the same. Hectic like always. A week after my pregnancy was confirmed, I received a call informing that I was elected to be one of the Liaison Officer for the King's Coronation. We were given only a few days to decide and I decided to decline the offer with a heavy heart. I can't predict what's going to happen for the next few weeks so I better not take the risk.

Allah always listens. I prayed hard not to fall sick.

Alhamdulillah, morning sickness seemed like a non-existence during my first trimester. I can work like usual. Sometimes, I forgot that I am now carrying a new life and my staff kept reminding myself to slowdown.

Eating is fine. I have no weird cravings so far. Husband has been nothing but very supportive. Alhamdulillah. I guess the long period of childless married life has given us the chance to get to know each other better and he understands me so well.

EDD is in October.

We are anxious and nervous at the same time waiting for lil one to come out. There are so many things playing in my head. My dad once said, delivering a healthy baby is a miracle that happens everyday.

And reading something like, "autism happens in 1 out of 60" is terrifying.

Please pray for us that everything will be ok :) Lil one can't wait to meet his/her uncles and aunties.

Great team

I was part of the apc team this year. no apc for me yet though..

One great team. Everyone was so pro-active. The event was held at Renaissance KL on the 2nd of April. Our agency is the biggest in the Ministry, so we were the busiest managing the registration.









Will it be the same team again next year?

Like what you get, I wish..

My HOD once told, we can't always get what we like, so in order to be happy, we must like what we get.

For those who have good bosses, be thankful.

Working with not so brilliant bosses will definitely shorten your life or worst, made you look older than your age. (Or the other way round.. heh)

Bosses have egos. Especially when their subordinates are so much younger. Only a few will admit that they are wrong. When it is so obvious that we are right, the longest word that'll come out from their mouths is "Oh" and off they go to their rooms after series of yelling, trying hard to point out that you are wrong and they are right.

Then, you have bosses dengan memori ikan emas. You reported your work, gave them things they wanted but later you were yelled at for not doing what they asked you to do because they always misplaced everything you gave them and forgot what you told them.

There are bosses who suck at making decision. You know well those decisions were wrong and you tried to tell them it was not the right thing to do, but your intention were misinterpret and you are marked as a rebellious officer. And in order for not being guilty of those bad decisions, you have to do extra works which is, to do memos for those bosses to sign claiming that the decisions were their calls.

How to pretend to be happy when deep inside you know well that your boss hates you to the core and vice-versa? It is very, very bad for your baby. (Eh, wait, did I say baby? ;)

You work hard, made sacrifices, but all you get every day are, yelling and cynical remarks... How sad is that?

I'm speaking of general situation here. Types of bosses. Nothing to do with me :D

Is he?

A few commented on how my husband look a little bit like Ustaz Don.

So, the husband wore the jubah Ma bought from him, borrowed my white tudung as his serban and here's the result..


Tak sama pun kannnnnn??

Despair..

Being told that what my unit does has no significant values broke my hearts to millions pieces. I cried for I don't know how many times.

Not long after that, a subordinate came and told me to be strong. Even how bad we're treated, they will give me the best performance because of me. Alhamdulillah.. Those words cured my heart immediately..

I will be strong, for them and our work MATTERS.....

Blessed

Husband made me breakfast this morning.

It was 3 slices of wholemeal bread with peanut butter + cheese + chocolate + garlic spread.

How's the taste?

Errr, speechless!

But I ate it anyway because I was really, really hungry.

Throwing food is bad, people!

******

A friend of ours once asked us a question, which place(s) in this whole world do I want to visit other than the holy city of mekah and madinah?

It was a really simple question. Some can give a handful of answers within minutes unfortunately, I can't give any. Big L stamped on my forehead.

It's not that I've never given any thought about it. I used to dream but I've forgotten when was the last time I dreamed about going to these beautiful places across the world.

Airasia's newsletter are deleted without even bothering to read it. I have planned my whole 2012 budget. How much savings and money spent are analysed. Is it just me or everyone who's married has their priorities sorted out differently compares to the singles? Or I'm turning into that makcik who loves asset and money more than wanting to enjoy it because she fears that if anything were to happen to this country, she still has a piece of land that she can claim as hers.

I'm not in denial. Everyone leads their lives differently and it doesn't matter where I go, as long as I have my loved ones with me, it'll be a wonderful visit.

p/s: I love reading about my friends' traveling stories :)

30 months and counting

Alhamdulillah, our marriage reached 30 months old yesterday.

It has been that old. 2 and a half years.

A friend of mine who got married 1 week after us is now a mother of 2 beautiful kids.

We were watching Gemersik Kalbu (yeah, we don't have astro so this is my entertainment ;) and during the commercial break.

Me: Why doesn't God bless us with a child yet?
Husband: He wants us to move in to our house first. If you're pregnant, then I have to do all the cleaning, that's not fair, right, right?
Me: pffftttt.. Maybe God knows we're not ready to be parents? Tell me, you're not ready to be a dad, are you?
Husband: I'm ready when it's time to be.
Me: Maybe I'm the one whose not ready?

Then I told him my feelings when my period was late for 4 days last month, how I was feeling nervous thinking about labour pain even before anything was confirmed. Crazy. (Blame it on my tuition biology teacher who showed us a video of how Cesarean was performed, I was merely 18!!!)

He just laughed at it as if I was telling a silly joke.

Honestly, I don't think about it too much anymore. People are blessed with so many great things in life. Not having kids doesn't mean that my life is incomplete. I still keep that long text from kuntum when I miscarried last year.

And Ma always said, be happy with what you own and don't be stressed out on things you didn't have.

Anyway, to Niha and Rezal, Congratulations and may she grows up to be a good muslimah :)

Mean...

The public can be so mean.

Yeah, jkm’s fb made a mistake. (You guys can google it. It was circulated all over the net and fb.) But it doesn’t mean people can ridicule us to that extend.

Oh, my.

I spent almost an hour going through those comments and man their words are harsh, uneducated, emotional and very uncivilised.

Some called us stupid and we should not work in the office but in the kandang taking care of the cow instead. Others even went deeper commenting how stupid government officers are. Ah, I bet most of them don’t even memorise the Rukun Negara or the Negaraku song and they have the urge to comment about patriotism?? My a**.

Sad though.

Why can’t they comment nicely?!! Civilised people don’t bash like that. I just felt like putting their heads in the microwave and let them explode. (oh, I watched The Last House on The Left yesterday and the ending is awesome ;)

However, a few gave very nice words, trying to sooth the angry community. I felt like hugging them. You guys make me believe that there are still good rational people out there.

At that point of time, I wish we were back during the time where the fastest way the news can be reached is by using the telegram.

Eat Work, Sleep Work...

I have nothing interesting to blog about.

Life isn't easy. No one says it is. But it is up to us to make it wonderful.

I got scolded really, really bad by my superior last Tuesday and ended up crying when husband asked me why on the phone. I was sad and disappointed because of what she said which I think is ridiculous. I was and still am frustrated to be treated this way, so low as if what I did all these while meant nothing to her. Little did she knew I even bought a new laptop so that I can continue doing my work at home.

*sigh*

Above all that, I don't regret a bit when I agreed to be transferred out. Dealing with this hardship thought me a lot about life, people and work. It matures me.

The good thing about doing HR is that, you get updated about everything first hand. And the latest, I learned how us, the p*d are given marks to get promoted. I can conclude that, the variety job scope you did, more points you'll get. Working at the same place doing the same thing too long won't make you a Subject Matter Expert either.

So plan well friends.

Anyway, those interested to work at Education Malaysia overseas can apply with MOHE. I want husband to apply and if he got it, I'll take unpaid leave to be with him. Kawan-kawan, apa lagi?