Quality time

The brain is like a machine. It'll get rusty when we don't use it.

In one of the JDramas I watched, this character (a lawyer cum teacher) teaches his students to be inquisitive. Always ask the question WHY on everything they saw because everything that is made and done have their reasons. Question yourself and find the answer, you'll gain more knowledge as you go.

I always like numbers and calculation. (But I loathe calculus ;). IF you observe around you, you'll find numbers everywhere. I walk by the roadside and always keep my mind moving by summing up the 4 digits plate number.

Anyway, the colleagues and I had a conversation about office scandal and why it happened among married couples. And we concluded that some of them spent too much time outside instead of with their spouse.

So, I was calculating the hours I spent with husband in a week while standing in the train. Then I was distracted by this woman sitting in front of me. She has moustache and beard!! I have seen women with moustache in the tv but never in my real life, just a foot away. So, I couldn't help myself looking at her. Who's the weirdo here?

Coming back to my calculation.

I minus the sleeping time and calculated, we actually see each other at the average of 2 hours a day during weekdays!!! During weekends, we religiously spent time at the parents' house so weekends are more like the parents' time.

From now on, I want to work like a machine (not that I wasn't before, hehe), a super power machine so that I get to meet my sweet husband earlier than 8pm..

seriously, only 2 hours a day??!!!!! haish

Ugly truth

How much we want to deny it, it's a fact that:

1. those who do not like you however are very much interested to know what's happening in your life.

2. when you kept quiet, they think they've won.

3. when something bad happened to you, your haters will excitedly say that's your karma.

I chose to keep quiet. A kakak at my old place told me, it'll be a neverending fight if I still want to voice out my stand because they will never admit they are also at fault.

I'm not a heartless beast. When they said those words to me, I can barely sleep at nights. I had nightmares and I kept on thinking, am I that bad? Am I such a lousy person? I even asked my former boss and the staff from the unit I covered before.

I cried when that kakak sent a consoling sms and told me that life's like this. You can never satisfy everyone in your life. You tried to avoid having enemies but sometimes, enemies come to you.

I asked for their forgiveness on my last day but at that time, I never knew that I was not forgiven.

My fault is to write that entry, but I didn't mention any names and I have changed the situation. I wrote it because of anger and I regret letting the anger won because I should've kept everything to myself. One of them said I'm acting all angel like in front of them but at the back I'm worst that jin ifrit. Jin ifrit or not, all those years they've worked under me, I never ever once did anything to harm their career and I even supported for one of them to get apc last year.

*sigh*

People will always see that small black stain on the big white cloth.