1. those who do not like you however are very much interested to know what's happening in your life.
2. when you kept quiet, they think they've won.
3. when something bad happened to you, your haters will excitedly say that's your karma.
I chose to keep quiet. A kakak at my old place told me, it'll be a neverending fight if I still want to voice out my stand because they will never admit they are also at fault.
I'm not a heartless beast. When they said those words to me, I can barely sleep at nights. I had nightmares and I kept on thinking, am I that bad? Am I such a lousy person? I even asked my former boss and the staff from the unit I covered before.
I cried when that kakak sent a consoling sms and told me that life's like this. You can never satisfy everyone in your life. You tried to avoid having enemies but sometimes, enemies come to you.
I asked for their forgiveness on my last day but at that time, I never knew that I was not forgiven.
My fault is to write that entry, but I didn't mention any names and I have changed the situation. I wrote it because of anger and I regret letting the anger won because I should've kept everything to myself. One of them said I'm acting all angel like in front of them but at the back I'm worst that jin ifrit. Jin ifrit or not, all those years they've worked under me, I never ever once did anything to harm their career and I even supported for one of them to get apc last year.
*sigh*
People will always see that small black stain on the big white cloth.
sabar je lah Yaya.
ReplyDeleteTho it's very cliche word, tp itu je lah yg akak leh katakan.
Mmg cemgitu maknosia ni.
Akak pun ada kena gak. Salu derang serang kat FB. Kata kita as superior ni asik nak sembunyi kan kesalahan la apa la.
Eh. ko apa hal? tak puas ati, tp cakap nak perli2 plak. Masa bila nyer kita ni sembunyikan kesalahan.
Tp akak amik jalan, senyap je. Kalo dibalas lagi la berlarutan. So, walo hati mmg geram, tp itu je terbaik.
Bkn sng nak puaskan ati seme org. walo pun kita leh bagi 100% utk LNPT derang, ttp derang tak puas ati. Itu je lah.
Eh.. terpanjang plak.. sori yunk :D
hey yaya.
ReplyDeletei agree wif you on those three points raised :) you do have a choice in this - to be the bigger better person or to be as shallow as they had been to you. and i know the latter, is something that all of us can easily do.
the former, though far more challenging and requires a lot from you, will benefit you in the hereafter. i see this situation as a third person and the way i see it, you shouldn't worry too much. see this as a one of the few lessons in working life (because you still have years to go). when you are ready to let it go, you will. and the moment you look back, you will laugh it off.
once you have loads of stuff on your plate (now you are pretty idle, that's why you are thinking too much!), you will get distracted.
take care yaya.
Ida: Thanx beb :)
ReplyDeleteSo what do you think about the new PTK? staf bawahan pun ada contribution markah ni.. :)
Mala: This is indeed a lesson learned. I'll be more careful in the future.. Thank you dear for your consoling words.. You take care too :)
*hugs*
biasalah yaya.. niat baik selalu disalah ertikan.. hanya tuhan yg tahu isi hati kita.. sabar je...
ReplyDeleteThanx Ina..
ReplyDelete