What's wrong with me..

I realized I had mood these few days. I was easily irritated, I got angry often, and then I cried for no reason.

The jam was terrible yesterday. I was cursing all the way, why in the h*** the cars weren't moving at all. I felt like honking my car to make them move.

Then, I started to blame everything around me.

Why did I decided to live sooooooooooo far away from my workplace..

Why is everyone wants to drive a car..

Why is Malaysia's public transport so damn lousy.

Why Malaysia has so many stupid drivers who like to take the emergency lane and dengan muka tak malu nak mintak masuk pulak bila emergency lane tu dah habis.

Kenapa polis Malaysia tak saman je semua stupid driver yang suka amik emergency lane yang suka ambil hak orang ni..

Why are these drivers wont stick to their lanes because changing lanes are making the jam even more worse.

Kenapa lah bos suruh pegi miting yang langsung tak memerlukan kehadiran saya di sana yang mana saya hanye melayan perasaan, menulis list2 jemputan kawin and berfikir baju kawin macam mana saya nak pakai mase wedding nanti instead of dengar members of the meeting quarel?

Why, why, why........

And then, bila masuk waktu Maghrib, I ate the kurma which I left in my car for this particular purpose. Nak minum air, sedar yang my water bottle takde. someone must have removed it. I started cursing again. Siapa pulak yang gatal2 bawa keluar botol air aku ni. Geram. Kurma manis tu melekat kat tekak and di kala itu, saya masih berada di Jln Loke Yew. Another 15km to my home sweet home.<

And for no reason at all, I cried. Not only that I crying softly, I was sobbing all the way. Kereta lembab depan tiba2 membuat saya kembali marah. Dahla slow teramat macam kura2, drive kat lane paling kanan then semua kereta potong depan die. Saya yang tengah marah, mencucuk kereta tersebut dari belakang and bila ade peluang, I overtook from left. Saya tau, memang kurang beretika bila overtake belah kiri tapi saya teramat marah semalam.

It was almost 8 and I was still stucked in Jalan Kuching, the forever and ever hectic road. Nape jam sangat ni? Orang2 semua dah start balik kampung ke?

Geram, geram.....

Radio yang dah lame terpadam sebab asyik keluar lagu2 yang same je kembali saya on kan. Tukar radio IKIM. Terdengar bacaan ayat2 suci al-Quran and jiwa kembali tenang.


In the end, I reached home after 8. Sampai2 je di rumah, mama opened the door. Tiba2 aje, saya berkata, "KL ni memang giler"

Mama kata, "Sabar, puasa itu mengajar kite bersabar"

Saya naik atas tukar baju and solat. Then turun makan kueh teow mama yang sangat sedap sampai 2 pinggan. hmmmmm, sedap hingga menjilat jari..

I know I have hurt many people around me. Especially Him.. Kesian dia, sentiasa menjadi mangsa kemarahan saya. Sorrryyyyy.... Saya tak macam ni kan dulu. Lepas raya ni, things should turn back to normal..

I think the jam are turning me into an evil woman.