25th for the 5th time

This came just now, at the hospital :)
Thank you dear husband. But I still want pizza and the new kfc. hehe

The ninth day

Here I am typing this entry on the hospital bed, warded on the 9th day, a few hours before my 29th birthday. Yes, I'll be celebrating my birthday in the hospital. woohoo.

The month of April is definitely not our favourite month for the year 2013.

All 3 of us got sick and now I am now admitted at the hospital.

It started with Kamil having a sore eye on the 1st of April. Brought him to @nnur's paed. He was given antibiotic and a few other more medicines.

Kamil was still sick on the 4th day, with very high fever so we brought him to A&E for Paed at PPUM. Yes, our favourite hospital so far. The doctor did thorough blood test and xray. Kamil was diagnosed with mild viral pneumonia. I showed the doctor those medicines given by the paed and she said the antibiotic was unnecessary because Kamil has viral fever whereas the antibiotic is for bacterial fever. I was kind of disappointed because I have fed Kamil with unnecessary med.

The next 3 days were awful because husband and I fall sick at the same time. So the whole family was sick. Kamil refused to take oral PCM. I had to give supp PCM instead. My poor baby. We went to the govt clinic on Monday wearing shades and all 3 of us were asked to do blood test. We had conjunctivitis. The first time for both of us.

On Wednesday, no improvement on Kamil's eye so we brought him to KPJ Kajang to see the ophthalmologist. Kamil's left eyes has corneal abrasion and the right one was infected. Luckily the abrasion was small and 2 drops of lubricant every 2 hours healed him.

Then on Friday, I had another illness. I went to see a private GP but after 2 days, the pain never subsided. I immediately went to see the private specialist and it was decided I needed to be operated straight away. GL cleared and I was in the OT on GA. I woke up 1 1/2 hours later, still feeling sleepy.

The next 6 days were torturous. Cleaning the wound was extremely painful, I came back crying everytime it was done twice a day *sobs*

Alhamdulillah, I am so much better now. The wound is healing, less painful and I am enjoying my stay in the hospital except for the food. I said to husband that the new KFC chicken or the new pizza hut will heal me faster, but he didn't believe me. The doctor said I can go out in a few days and maybe another week of MC after that.

I am blessed with good family and friends who came to visit and wishing for my speedy recovery. Love you all :)

I can not wait to go to work (NOT!!)

evil airfryer

Such an evil airfryer.
especially when you were alone on weekend night (husband went for his weekly badminton game and will only get back around 3am), you got hungry, couldn't sleep because you got excited playing Candy Crush's level 95 but you have no more live to go on, you saw the airfryer and there were some frozen drummets in the freezer. Bam, you put some in the pan, switched on the airfryer, set it for 20minutes and started folding up the laundry while waiting it to cook. yummy drummets and no oil are needed to cook it.

Call me weird but if husband presented me a rm1K designer bag instead of that supercool airfryer I've been talking about for the past 4 months, I'll be dead furious.

First, that bag value more than the money I have in my purse. I definitely don't need a very costly handbag which I will keep in a dustbag and put it nicely in the cupboard because it's just too expensive for everyday wear (and I don't go out that often to use it).

Second, he's not listening / paying attention to the words/hints I've given about how lovely to have an airfryer in my kitchen.

However, we arrived home from Selayang just now. Husband went down again to bring more stuff from the car while I was busy taking care of Kamil, I didn't notice what he brought in.

About an hour later, I saw the airfryer box on the kitchen's table top. Eh, kotak je ke, ade isi ni? I wasted no time and opened the box.

Eyes gleaming with tears, "abang, you shouldn't have!!!" Jumping joy.

So abang, this means you can have crispy ayam goreng everyday for the rest of your life. ngeeee

The working mom

Kamil with wet cloth surrounded his head to ease down the temperature

This little angel has been sick since Saturday and Ibu was on leave for 4 days already.


It started with runny nose and cough last 2 Mondays ago. Kamil is just too cute, relatives kept on kissing and hugging him during the 2 events before his illness started. Some people are insensitive about this. Babies are super fragile human being. Their immune systems are not fully developed. I was thought not to be too "friendly" with babies for this kind of reason. No offense but I don't go kissing someone else's babies even how cute they are because I fear that they will get infected with whatever germs and bacterias that I had on me.

His body temperature increased on Sunday and we brought him to PPUM's Emergency for Paed on our way home to Putrajaya that night. (I'm loving it here, the service is super fast and freeee. Thist was our third time here).

Doctor advised to seek treatment again if he has fever on the fifth day. he prescribed paracetamol and augmentin antibiotic which I think is rather strong for such a young baby, so I didn't give any. We went to the clinic yesterday when his body temperature went as high 39 degrees celcius in the middle of the night and refused to drink (direct feed or bottle feed).

Clinic did blood test and alhamdulillah, nothing serious. The white blood cell count was a bit high, meaning that there's an infection. Doctor prescribed a less stronger antibiotic (which I will only give to Kamil if he still has fever). Alhamdulillah, it has been 36hours since the last time I gave him paracetamol and his health is improving and so does his appetite (he still refuses to direct feed, ibu feels sad :( .

I took 4 1/2 months leave after giving birth, went to work later for 5 days and I was on leave again for 4 days. Work is crazy. In a way, I'm glad I am not at the office but I feel guilty for my colleague who has to share some of my work when I am not there. So this is like to be a working mother. You are torn between going to work or taking care of your child at home.

Many have warned me, my annual leaves are usually used for emergency leave when my kid gets sick. I pray that Kamil and I will be in good health always so that I can work religiously for what I have been paid for. Ameenn.

picture taken yesterday.

junkfood for the unwell

I have eaten nothing but junk for the last 8 hours. I fried 10 chicken balls for breakfast and a packet of Munchy's wafer for lunch. I gave excuses to myself that I can eat anything because I am not well.

I have measles. At the age of 29 I am infected with measles. Tiny measles said the doctor last night.

It started on Wednesday with some kind of rashes on the face. I thought I must have eaten wrongly or the unbalance hormone resulting skin break-out. Then the sort of rashes thing spread to the whole body the next day. I googled measles and I didn't have any of the symptoms except this red rashes all over my body.

It just didn't feel right.

I went to the clinic last night and the moment the doctor saw my arms, "you have measles".

"But I don't have fever, cough, joint pain. and the rashes isn't that itchy"

"It defers from one person to another depending on the antibody. Maybe your antibody is stronger so it suppressed most of the symptoms. Yours is actually at the end stage. You should be ok in 3-4 days. It's contagious so I'll give you mc for tomorrow"

"Is it ok to breastfeed my baby"

"Your baby is actually being exposed to the disease since the last 4 days. Just continue breastfeeding him so that he'll received your antibody to fight this disease as well. Maybe you can minimise your contact with him or wear a mask when you are around him. Don't forget to drink a lot of water"

My so called conversation with the doctor.

Last night was the first night I slept without Kamil by my side since I gave birth to him.

It was lonely to sleep alone, so every few hours, I crept in the room just to see him sleep. I haven't kiss him since the doctor said I have measles.

So this is what it feels to be a mother...

Well, 3 hours more till I get to see both my babies. I am hungry, instant noodles anyone?

down memory lane

I always love OBS among all 4 outdoor modules during DPA.

Husband just got back from OBS Lumut supervising the newly elected officers. Listening to him talking about obs reminded me of what I did 5 years ago.

Ibu Kamil, 5 years ago.

OBS was my first outdoor module. Having the best coach and awesome watchmates made it a wonderful 2 week journey of my life.

On the first night there, I remember confessing to my watchmates that I never went camping, kayak, jungle tracking or any other outdoor activities. That night, I thought I was the weakest one and I am pretty sure most of my watchmates thought so too. Abang Fauzi, our coach later told us that he was concerned about me the most but I proved them wrong :D

I survived all the expeditions and activities. I didn't collapse, threw up or got bitten by pacat.

I don't remember the sequence but I think the first expedition was kayak, followed by hiking, then whaling and the last one was solo camping.

Fauzie was my kayak mate. He told me on the last day of OBS, he was actually a bit disappointed when Abang Fauzi chose me to be his kayakmate. haha. He thought I will collapse, sea sick or whatever in the middle of the expedition but I rowed and rowed non-stop. I can't believe the hidden power I had.

Hiking was the hardest of all four. Pergi 4 puncak, balik 1 puncak yang puncak maut punya sampai ada watchmate ni requested for a heli to take him back. (husband told me they only went hiking the 4 puncak and went back jalan rata. Tak aciiiii). Not to forget the 2 periuks abang Fauzi asked us to bring along.

Macam Penoreh getah pun ada

yummylicious, rice with ayam goreng

See the periuks?

Image having an almost 10kg of stuff in the backpack (5 litre of water, tent, food ration, some clothes), I was crying inside.

Whaling was next. Again I rowed and rowed non-stop and kept scolding Ragoo in front of me because he was seasick and didn't follow the deep-pull-up thing. Camping at Pulau Rumbia was fun because we had wild boar with us. That night, Kak Lin and Izanee told us how they met their spouses. Since they are the eldest, we called them mommy and daddy.

Solo camping was the last. Rashid, Ina and Ragoo were nearby. I tried to light a campfire for an hour but failed because everything was so wet due to raining that morning. We were only given 10 matchsticks. In the end, Rashid came to rescue. Ragoo's instant mee got stolen when he came to visit us. I heard him clearly cursing the monkeys in Tamil when he discovered it.

My sad-messy little tent

 

Instant noodle

I am glad that I was given the opportunity to attend OBS. to that p+d batch who lodged report and refused to join the expedition, it's a big loss. Oh well, you guys can tell your kids you played paperplane during obs. hahaha.

Watch Kinabalu. 13 budak hitam. I heart all of you.

Reality

8th February

Wow, fourth entry of the month. And February is still in the first half. Pat on the back Yaya.

Of course, Kamil's asleep. The only time I can have my me time. Usually during the day, I'll finish up the housechores and some other things, while sometimes, I spent time reciting the Quran with Kamil on my lap. (There were a few times when I was reciting the Quran, Kamil continuously laughing at something I couldn't see with my naked eyes giving me goosebumps all of a sudden.)

Erm, I did something I am ashamed to tell you guys today.

I watched the Titanic.

Yeah the movie with Leornado DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, HD version. 3 1/2 hours in front of the telly.

But I wasn't giving so much attention to it. My mind was wandering to the younger version of me. I was the sweet 13 year old girl back then. hihi

I first watched Titanic at Kota Bharu (Yes, Kelantan used to have a cinema) with Sis Yanti. We were 15 minutes late so we watched it again at Central Market (And yes, CM used to have a cinema too). I cried both times, silly me.

The Titanic movie made me think of death. I can't imagine how painful it is frozen to death or died drowning. I am always afraid of water. So any activity involves water does not interest me. I rather stay at the top deck of the ferry so that if anything happens, I am not trapped inside. I never dream of going for a holiday cruise, thanx to the Titanic movie. heh

In the middle of the movie, Kamil cried, wanting my attention. My mind went back to the present time, my present time.

Reality slapped me on the face.

I have a kid.

Oh my, I am 15 years older. Entering 3 series next year and I am still very bad at cooking.

Suddenly I remember this one time when Ma was holding Kamil during my confinement period and she said, "You still have a long way to go dear Kamil while I can go anytime and I don't know how much time I have to see you grow up".

Those words brought me to tears (and still does).

I love her so much, I can't imagine my life without her. She is still and forever will be my best friend.

*sobs*

I have a kid and I can no longer be a kid anymore.

There were a few times at night, I woke up, saw Kamil by my side and I freaked out.

Being a mother actually scares the hell out of me.

I desperately want the best for my kid and want him to grow up well, it is sometimes stressful. But it is a good stress because in order for us to bring up a good kid, we have to set up a good example, be a good muslim and muslimah so that he grew up in a very good environment.

Having a child matures me in so many ways and I pray hard my child(ren) will love me as a mother (eventhough I don't cook well :D)

Anyways, 2 weeks more to work.

*cry hard*

Old

Posting this entry from Putrajaya. Spending 3 days here since Wednesday. I pity Wan who has to travel from Putrajaya to Selayang everyday. So, I offered to stay here, fully equipped with downloaded movies to spend my time here alone with Kamil.

I currently hate my Celcom broadband. I am so used to using Unifi at Ma's house, I forgot how slow Celcom broadband is.

Kamil is down with rashes on his face. He can't keep his hands from wanting to scratch it. I had to swaddle him at night and put his mitten on just in case he manages to pull his hands out of the swaddle (which he usually can). Pity my boy. His face is all red and itchy but he can still smile when he wakes up every morning. Ibu is falling in love with you each day, Kamil.

*****

I think I have watched too much tv shows during my younger years until I seldom find anything worth watching on the tv nowadays. I am bored, I usually can tell the storyline.

However, I still find Japanese dramas the best. Their storylines are never predictable. Their endings are usually the opposite. Plus, they usually only  have 11 episodes of 40minutes each. Not too draggy. I can accept the male leading character is skinny and thin trimmed eyebrows for JDramas because their male leading characters are always skinny since the Akantare time.

KDramas? I have watched almost 80 dramas since years 2002. I am not a fan of it anymore. Plus, what happen to muscular, manly heroes like Song Seung-heun and Kwon Sang-woo? People (read: women / girls) are crazy over skinny ones now? And the hair and thin trimmed eyebrows? I can't accept the transition.

What's with the frenzy about Adam and Hawa or Setia Hujung Nyawa which I kept seeing status of how sweet the drama is. I watched a few episodes online but I kept condemning at each episode, (No offense to those who like them.) and stopped watching them.

Or am I getting too old for these kind of dramas?

Review: The 7th Muffins

Kamil's asleep. His dad is at the badminton court doing his weekly routine. And his mommy has exactly 2 hours before Kamil wakes up at 12.

I found this online cake delivery service called the 7th muffins. It was quite convenience since their shop is at Sungai Merab, so near to Putrajaya because I wanted the cake to be delivered to Wan's office. (2 days before his birthday because 2nd Feb fell on a Saturday.)

I pm-ed them on the 10th January, asking a few questions and I was told that they will resume taking orders on the 23rd. I placed orders a few days after they responded my messages.

I thought they will contacted me immediately on the 23rd, but man I was wrong. 5 days later, on the 28th at 8.30pm, I received an sms saying that they have sent me an email, confirming my order. I was in the car that time and I only managed to read the email around 10pm. Email sent on 28th at 8.30pm and I have to pay the amount before 29th. 3 1/2 hours to make the payment. Really professional.

I managed to make the payment that night.

On the 31st at 11am, they contacted me asking at what time do I wish it to be delivered. I said at 12noon would be great so that Wan can enjoy the cakes with his staff before lunch break.

30 minutes later, she contacted me again saying that one of the cakes was ruined, thanx to her anak buah who ate the cake that she left on the table for it to cool down. She promised to send them around 2pm and will inform me once the cake was delivered.

15minutes to 4pm, I received no sms neither from the 7th muffins nor from Wan. So, I guess the cakes weren't delivered yet. Contacted her and she told me she was on her way.

I was a bit surprise when she had the guts to ask me to ask Wan to pick up the cakes at the lobby because she said it was difficult to find a parking space. I had to guide her find the building and where to park. Cakes delivered at 4pm. 2hours late than what she promised.

The whole cake was a disappointment. I have no idea about the cupcakes because Wan didn't bring home any.

I ordered moist chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream but we received burnt-dry chocolate cake with plain buttercream instead. The buttercream was oily. Ma used to make buttercream and I still remember the taste but their's tasted too oily and salty. too little icing sugar and I suspected they added margarine.

The burnt part tasted too bitter to eat, we had to scrape it first before eating. the cake was very dry and too simple too. It was just a plain cake with toppings. No fancy decoration and tak belah kat tengah punnnn. Paid rm10 for gift box and card but we received lame box and plain colour paper, cut into a love shape.

I was disappointed with the outcome that I didn't take any picture of it. I wish to support the Malays in their business but when that was what I received, serik.

I'm sorry but this will be the first and the last time. They fail to impress me with their service or the product itself. Sending burnt cake to the customer is totally UNACCEPTABLE.

I end up this entry with a picture of Kamil getting head massage from his dad.

A little bit to the left, abah. Yes, that's it.

21st January 2013

It's 12.30 in the morning and I'm watching Yeti on NTV7. I can't believe it either. My eyes are wide awake anxious to know what happened to these ugly, carnivorous Yetis (Yes, there are 2 Yetis) and those plane crash survivors. Haha

I should have gone back to work last Monday but I decided to extend my leave using my last year's annual leave. I will start working on the 1st of March. 4 1/2 months at home. Sweet.

Kamil and husband were asleep since 3 hours ago. Husband had headache and Kamil being Kamil, will fall asleep after his bath and wake-up once at around 1. So I have about half an hour to post at least an entry for the blog that I have abandoned for quite sometime now.

*kamil cried*

*resume on 4th February*

It has been 3 1/2 months of leave but I haven't been out of the house that much. My son is a puteri lilin. His face and body turned all red when he is hot. Then later, heat rash came visiting and eczema worsen his condition.

A few days after my confinement period ended, there was this maternity and baby expo held at Midvalley. Planning of going but I was thinking, Kamil was just too little to be exposed to so many people at the expo. What is a few ringgit worth of bargain when your baby ended up sick later.

I still remember how I detested parents bringing small kids and infants out at night (past 9pm) or to crowded places. Therefore, when I have a child myself now , I should not be doing things that I detested before.

Kamil will turn 4 months in 10 days and he has only been out less than 5 times. Wan did most of the shopping and I usually stayed at home. Yes I am bored but I just couldn't risk my baby getting sick infected from the crowd. Ibu will bring Kamil out more often once you're old enough, okay.

Anyways, I gained 14kg when I got pregnant and announcing I have lost 20 kg with the help of  no supplement / slimming product but thanx to Kamil's eczema. I have to be selective of what I eat. Not too much of oily food, no chocolate, seafood, egg, nut. Eating is not fun at all now. Imagine eating satay without it's kuah.*cried*

Ending this entry with:

Please Ibu, can I skip the monthly vaccination?

Be strong

Life with a child is indeed physically and mentally exhausted. No, I'm not complaining at all. We love him so much that we can spend hours just looking at his serene face while he was sleeping soundly and laugh out loud when his face was all red pooping at 3 in the morning. He is our heart and soul.

He came a bit late into our lives, which is after 3 years plus of marriage. There are always reasons for everything. My ustazah once said, when  you wanted something so bad, ask to Allah to answer your prayer only IF it is the best for you. So, when my prayer was not answered, I always believe that Allah knows best for us.

Therefore, having to live together, just the 2 of us for 3 years was actually a time well spent getting to know each other, husband and wife before a child came into the picture. Alhamdulillah, now I see the reason why.

When you've gone through one hell of a pain delivering a baby, it really helps a lot when you have a very understanding husband to take care of you and the baby. I have been nothing but a spoiled wife during the first 2 weeks after delivery (and still am). Husband even took an extra week of leave to take care of me and I almost cried on the first day he had to leave for work after that.

Having a child is not easy. (again not complainin). Worried range is always above scale 7 out of 10.
"Why didn't he poop for 2 days?"
"What is that red rashes on his face?"
etc
etc

Kamil was admitted for jaundice on his 5th day. He had to sleep under phototherapy wearing nothing but diaper. His small hand was set for IV drip, just in case he was dehydrated if he refused to breastfeed. The moment we put him under the light, he cried. Maybe he was cold and uncomfortable not wearing clothes. Ma and husband went back home for a while to pack our clothes while I stayed with Kamil at the ward. Being a mother for merely 5 days, I just sat there crying when he cried, trying to sooth him but to no avail, nothing works so I took him out of his bed and held him in my arms until Ma came back. I just couldn't sit there and see him cried.

IV drip set on his left hand :'(

alhamdulillah, after spending 2 nights there, Kamil was discharged. I wouldn't have gone through it without my mom who was with me for that 2 nights at the hospital.

3 days ago, Kamil was (and is still) down with blocked nose and cough. We couldn't stand seeing how he suffered trying to breath so we brought him (again) to the emergency for paed PPUM. He was put on nebulizer with normal saline and later nasopharyngeal suction was done to suck out the phlegm and mucus from his nose and throat. Imagine having tube into that small nose of him.

Kamil on nebulizer

A nurse took him into the procedure room and parents had to stay outside. A few minutes after that, I heard Kamil cried so loud that I had to be far away from the door. About 10 minutes after that, a nurse brought him to me. His eyes were swollen from crying, eyelashes all wet, his hair was in mess and he was asleep. He must be so tired after crying until he felt asleep. Poor child.

Kamil is only a month old but he has gone through a lot. We as parents have to learn fast about bringing up a child. (No more The Sims, Cityville, Pet Shop or whatsoever. heh.) When a mother wishes she can take away all pain from her child/children, that is absolutely true. I really wish I can take all the uneasiness he's suffering right now. My dear Kamil, we hope you'll grow up stronger.

Hello Lil K

First of all, alhamdulillah we are now parents to a beautiful baby boy.

On my 36 week check-up, the doctor said that the baby is already engaged and labour is on it's way anytime soon, so be prepared. the baby's estimated weight was 3.4kg *panic*

We booked FPP with Hospital Putrajaya with Dr Wan Ahmad Hazim and I still continued my antenatal check-up with the clinic. My EDD was supposed to be on the 26th, but since it falls on Hari Raya, I was asked to check-in on the 23rd to be induced if I haven't delivered yet. I had GDM therefore I can't exceed 40weeks.

13th October 2012
Week 38
We went for a walk at Taman Putra Perdana that morning. We did 2 rounds and it took us 1 hour to complete it. Imagine how slow the pace was. People said, walking is good for breathing practice and stamina. And I personally think that walking at the park in the morning is a great bonding time. Walking hand in hand, the cool weather, the conversation we had (light or serious matter). Furthermore, it's free, you don't have to take a bath or get dress or do make up beforehand and it's healthy. But later, I ate nasi lemak and roti canai banjir for breakfast. (tummy's craving for nasi lemak while typing this entry)

We went back to Ma's house that afternoon. That night, I spotted an early labour sign but still managed to sleep soundly and ate my favourite kebab.

14th October 2012 
Woke up with a shriek when I saw the bloody show after peeing. Husband kept on repeating, let's go to the hospital. I tried to act cool. Nah, this is just an early labour sign.

That morning, a doa selamat that was supposed to be held continued as planned although this daughter created a suspense about giving birth that day. The contraction was bearable but frequent and getting stronger.

We were advised to go to the hospital. I was a bit panic, "so here it is, I'm giving birth today". Ate a plate of Ma's nasi goreng and off we went to Hospital Putrajaya.  I couldn't think straight that I only asked forgiveness from Ma and I was wearing a blouse and kain batik to the hospital. Sloppy I tell you. My journey to giving birth that day was blessed with doa by so many people who attended the doa selamat. I couldn't ask for more.

Arrived at Dewan Bersalin Hospital Putrajaya at 12pm, checked-in and they ran some tests. CTG on my tummy to check on the baby's heartbeat. Heartbeat was ok but baby was very inactive. They set the IV drip and when it was turned on, the baby started kicking. I guess, he was as hungry as the mommy.

Luckily I was on FPP, I was invincible to HO and nurses. Every decision were made based on Dr.Hazim's word. No VE done by some random HO.

VE was done around 2.00pm. 4cm! (And it wasn't painful)

I was sent to the ward. I asked husband to buy me porridge and coffee (demanded Starbucks specifically) for energy to push later but he came back with A&W burger instead. Alamanda was jam packed with people because of the Idola Kecil thing and husband just couldn't risk spending too much time away from me.

Contraction was getting stronger. I managed to ate 2 pieces of kek pisang served while I was at the ward before VE was done again. 5cm++ at 4.30pm and I was pushed to the labour room (after enema).

At the labour room, the pain was unbearable. I remembered Ma's word to recite Allah name, selawat everytime I was in pain and to take deep long breath. Husband never left me and always by my side. I asked for his forgiveness and all. Fear of death suddenly clouded my mind. He looked worried.

A doctor came around 6.00pm, did VE again and my water broke. I was already 6cm++ dilated. Dr. Hazim then came and I was 8cm dilated. I couldn't stand the pain. I was asking for epidural or any kind of painkillers. But it was kind of too late for that. I was dilating fast.

At around 7.30pm, they prep me for labour. Dr Hazim said that he can feel the baby's head already. I was excited to push. They thought me to count while pushing.

The pushing began. I tried the best I could. However, after less than 5 pushes, the baby's heartbeat was dropping. So the doctor decided to do the vacuum procedure. There were so many nurses around me. 2 were holding my legs because I kept clutching them together, another sat next to me, advising me not to close my eyes while pushing. Husband told me, the first and second attempt failed because of the equipment (damn you Radicare) and the doctor requested for another equipment. I tried my best to give the longest and the strongest push, (I can feel the episiotomy y'all) and the third attempt succeeded.

A nurse put the baby on my tummy, but he wasn't crying. I cried instead. I managed to touch him but they quickly took the baby out of the room, a paediatrician was on standby mode outside the labour room to attend to my baby. I was worried sick and I couldn't feel a thing they did to me later after the delivery.

Then I heard a baby's cry. My baby finally cried. I cried. The stitching activity lasted for about 15 minutes done by Dr. Hazim himself. I asked him how long was the episiotomy and he just replied "Normal for first timer". Cheh. Not long after that, I heard the husband recited the azan. I sobbed continuously eventhough I couldn't witness it myself.

Still in the labour room, the nurses cleaned me up and brought in some food. I don't feel like eating at all eventhough I only had nasi goreng and kek pisang that day.

Husband came in, with tears in his eyes. He took my hand, kissed my forehead and said thank you. I never see him cried and today he did. I couldn't utter a word and kept on sobbing. I felt so loved. I pray that this baby will make our relationship stronger. A nurse brought the baby in, he's so tiny and cute. My crying continues and said to husband, "wow, I managed to get this out, awesome"

The moment of silent, we just stared at him. We named him Kamil. Just Kamil. A name that we have already decided when we knew the gender.

Fresh from my womb.
Born on 14 October 2012 at 1953hours, 54cm long, 3.25kg
We waited 3 years ++ for you dear.

We spent the first night with Lil Kamil as parents at the hospital. Lucky for me, single bed room was available that day. Ma came to see me for a while. And I just cried while hugging her, sobbing trying to utter "So this is like giving birth. How did you manage to do this 6 times"

Lil Kamil latched perfectly but I didn't have enough to make him feel full so the nurses gave him formula milk. Otherwise he couldn't sleep and kept on crying. I was extremely tired that night and slept most of the time, husband was the one who took care of Kamil all night, woke up every one hour when Kamil was crying. Up till now, husband was the one who woke up first everytime Kamil cried at night. I am blessed with a good husband. Alhamdulillah.

Ibu, I managed to get my hands out of the swaddle.

Kamil is now 24 days old. Ibu is now at her pre-pregnancy weight. another less than 10kg to get back my DPA weight. Yay..

Well anyway, giving birth and having a child on my own has thought me to appreciate my mom more than anything else. Having to carry the baby for 9 months wasn't easy and giving birth was so freaking painful beyond words. You love your child so much, you will cry when anything is not right with him, your heart aches to see him in pain and these are among fews what our mothers had gone through bringing us up.

I heart my mom and husband a lot.

The big leap

11 August 2012, marked the day we received the keys to our own house. The process was delayed for so many reasons but in the end, the house is ours now and luckily we didn’t have to pay a cent more for the extended period.

Some of you may have known that we bought a subsale house located in Bandar Baru Bangi. For the price we paid for it, some say we can get a new single storey semi-D, but we stick with our principles that we bought this property because of its established location and the facilities surrounding it (and hopefully it’ll be easier to sell later on when we decided to upgrade our house, In shaa Allah).

And of course, what is subsale if the word renovation doesn’t come along with it. Brought Ma to our house last Thursday and she has these ideas of things we should do to the house. Sought advises from friends who have experiences dealing with renovation and it helps a lot for newbies like us. We are in the midst of doing checklist ranked by priority and we hope the list isn’t growing when the contractor started doing his job and later found those little things which are hidden but extremely important.

At the same time, I really wish that this happened last year; the time when I am not 8 months pregnant and I can actively go here and there running errands excitedly concentrating on the house ONLY.

Ok, the baby just kicked. A little bit angry with that statement maybe.

I am entering 32 weeks and started to walk like a penguin when I am lazy. Husband is really good imitating it. Alhamdulillah, baby and mommy are doing fine. At this stage, the weight gained so far is 7kg and baby is 1.6kg. I look fat because my pre-pregnancy weight was a little bit overweight. 8 weeks to go, I hope I won’t balloon-up successfully.

I did OGTT 2 weeks ago. The moment the doctor asked me to do OGTT, I remembered the taste of warm, extremely sweet glucose mixture which the nutrition lecturer gave us to taste 8 years ago. Luckily, the one I had to go through wasn’t that bad. It was still extremely sweet but tolerable with blackcurrant flavor. The bad thing was, the nurse couldn’t find my vein and I went home with bruises of 5 attempts to get the blood sample.

Baby and the house are on the way. I hope the house can be settled before the delivery (so that I can keep checking on the contractor’s work frequently) but I think it is rather impossible.

2 major things are happening at the same time in our life right now *panic*

Funny when husband is so eager surveying the baby stuff while I on the other hand is so excited about the house.

The conversation at home most of the times went like this:

Me with the laptop: I think nyatoh is quite reasonable for our kitchen cabinet. I don’t like 3G glass, it’s just too shiny but solid pine wood is so classic....
Husband with the tablet: It says here, a good baby carrier is the one that supports the hip and spine therefore the baby's knees must be higher than the hip when he's in the carrier. Erg0 fits the criteria....

I believe that everyone was born with the same level of tolerance.
Pain, taste, anger, stress etc.. but how they were raised-up may change their tolerance compare to others as they grow-up.

I was talking to a few friends about work. (yes, we have nothing to talk about but work) and we kept comparing each other who has the worst. Funny when all of us wanted to win in that conversation.

I think I have the worst type. I was so eager to win and I even said to one of them, "How come you said yours is the worst, I saw you commented on every status on fb like every 10 minutes everyday. I don't even have time to pee" (Well, she did comment on fb like all the time and I just couldn't stand it when she said she has lotssssssssss of things to do ;)

It's totally unfair to belittle someone who is under so much stress for something you think is a puny problem compares to yours. Her background and many other things may be different from you. Hardship does make you stronger. Someone who has never dealt with difficulties in life may have problems facing even something so small.

So, grow-up yaya and be cool or you'll end up having no friends :D

Happy Ramadhan everyone!

Day 3 and mommy yaya belum ponteng puasa lagi :)

Time well spent

There's nothing that'll make me happier than to see him happy.

Saturday ended up nicely but was a little bit chaotic during the day.

It started with doing some housechores. Later we rushed back to attend my husband's family picnic by the waterfall. The water wasn't that clean so I dare not joined in the fun.

We went back to Ma's house to have a quick shower and rushed to KLCC. When we are in a hurry, there are always something that came in between. Traffic jam, took the wrong turn at the parking lot and ended up paying RM4.20 for nothing, crowded surau, hot fried chicken for dinner.

In the end, we made it just in time for the show.

A late birthday gift for my husband.

I am not a fan but M.Nasir's performance that night's awesome. He's a great singer and entertainer. Baby was kicking during the whole show that night. It's whether he/she likes it or he/she couldn't sleep because of the loud music.

The money was worth spent and hey, it's our first concert together. Anuar Zain's next? :D

Mom's cooking

I'm at Hotel Putra KL. Husband has a 4-day course here, so I took a day off from work hoping that I can relax a bit. Unfortunately, the phone just couldn't stop ringing since this morning.

We came here from ma's house. It touches me whenever we wanted to leave the house after visiting her, she's always so excited to give something for us to bring back even as small as a few oranges she just bought from the market. Moms will always be moms eventhough I come back to see her every weekend.

Today, she packed pulut durian and 4 oranges as 'bekal' for me at the hotel. I know I shouldn't be eating too much pulut or durian but it just so irresistible. Sorry hotel, you said no durian but not such thing as cooked durian and the room doesn't smell that bad.


Ma's cooking are the best. A simple dish such as fried fish with kicap cili tasted better when she cooked it. It's the power of love :)

The past

I attended my ex-bf's wedding recently because his mother and him personally invited me and for the sake of meeting up old school friends. Husband was ok with it. Never had any problem when it comes to exes.

Reminiscing about us, we had a good break-up or as far as I remember we never actually went to the extend of saying "we should go separate ways" and cried a few weeks. We just drifted away after school ended.

His mom likes me. I was the good, school nerd girl back then. So she thinks I was a good example to his son. I don't know if it's true but he once told me his mom always gave him a big sum of money to him if he told her he's going on a date with me.

I was always a rational and an objective girl (and my objectives in life were usually influenced by tv dramas I watched everyday, hahaha but they turned up to be good).

Therefore, I always knew the quality I want for a future husband and for me, childhood sweethearts hardly ended up together. So I was actually doing his mom a favour by being at his side for him to go through spm and I really cared for him as a dear friend.

Seeing him on the dais that night, I just can't imagine myself being the bride next to him. As I looked at my husband finishing up his food hungrily in front of me, I believe the ex and I had made the right decision by drifting away and choosing our own paths 11 years ago.

I didn't go and greet him that night because the last time I heard, the bride had issues with me being his ex and even forbade him attending my wedding. Oh well, what can I say, I am much prettier. hahahahaha.

Kidding...

Updates about the baby and us

Junior is entering 23 weeks next week. Time is moving too fast and the moment I realised it, the tummy is growing bigger and I kept on complaining "I don't have anything nice to wear to work" to husband every morning.

Alhamdulillah, at this stage I can move around like usual, I can drive, no swelling, stretch marks or weird cravings and it really helps with my work.

At times, I think we are a pair of not-the-super-excited parents. We love this baby so much even though we have only seen him/her in the screen of black and grey. Maybe because I'm perfectly ok, we sometimes forget I'm carrying a life in my tummy/uterus. You get what I meant?

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The first time I felt the baby kicking was while I was reading and husband was inspecting his racket.

me: B, the baby is kicking now, come put your hand here.
husband: where? (still couldn't figure it up)
me: here. (getting annoyed)
husband: oooooo..
me: (wasn't sure if he really felt it)
later
both of us: (continued doing what we did before)

See...
Some first-timer mothers may streaming down tears but I was like, okay, acting all cool.

I talk to my baby a lot especially when I'm annoyed. Advising him/her not to be like the one I'm complaining about. I hope he/she grows up well. having kid(s) is the biggest responsibility ever.

It has only been 23 weeks and ibu is having nightmares about labour already....

Cat story

This is Ginny, my bro wan's cat. Ma went to KB for a week with my other brother. Therefore Ginny was left with my dad. Bro Wan insisted that I take Ginny to my house for the time being.

We brought him back last Sunday. The moment she went out of the carrier, she was in shock and hid herself at the corner in the prayer room refused to eat. Husband kept checking on her every 1 hour. Ah, I hope he still does this when the baby comes out.

At last, after maghrib, she went out of her hiding place. She strolled all over the house, following us every where we went, meowing. When it's time to sleep, we closed the room door leaving her in the living room. We even left the fan on so that she didn't feel warm and could sleep soundly.

However, she ended up meowing outside the door and kept on scratching it once in a while the whole night. We couldn't sleep. We opened the door once, she came in the room but she wanted to sleep with us on the bed. So we left her outside the room again, and the meowing started.

We decided to take her back to ma's house and asked dad to take care of her. She must be missing her boyfriend or my house has something that scares her. During lunch hour, we came home but couldn't find her anywhere. Later, we found her sleeping at the back of the tv cabinet.

Reaching ma's house, took her out of the carrier, she looked content and happy. Golek2 left, right and slept at that very moment.

Even animals can feel homesick, eh?

What EURO?

My house doesn't have Astr0 and my husband sleeps at 10 (and sometimes earlier) every night. However, he jokingly said he supports France because Neel0fa does.
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