I get myself into trouble because this big fat mouth of mine. I like to talk, and many of times, words were spoken out without the mind doing the thinking.. And many hearts were hurt.. I've tried to be extra careful with every word I was about to say but I ended up talking less. When I did think too much, I didn't feel like talking at all.. I tried to listen more but I ended having monologues and I heard nothing from the other party. My mind will wandered around while the other party kept on talking.. In the end, I'm not being the chatty ol' me..
I used to be a girl with a vengeance. I wanted people to hurt like how I was hurt. I stayed silent when people were saying their sorry. I wanted them to suffer begging for my forgiveness. But as I grew older, nothing is more satisfying than having to hear people said their sorry..
I learned that it takes a lot of guts to utter that simple word. Saying sorry shows how remorseful and miserable they feel. And I don't feel the needs to say anything else because deep inside their hearts, they've learned the lesson. The hatred surrounded my heart melted like the ice under the hot sun when people delivered that word especially when it came from the one I love so dearly. I needed to say nothing more.
As much as I hate seeing people begging for my forgiveness, I wish not to put myself in that place. Begging is for slaves and I am no slave. I didn't say that 5-letter-word if I didn't feel the grief. The word were expressed when I really, really meant it. I had learned the lesson and I prayed not to repeat it. And even if I did, it was unintentionally. Accept me for who I am. People make mistake because none of us is perfect..
yaya, seriously. you don't look like someone who can hurt other people's feelings by saying things. perhaps it is just utter bluntness and people cannot take it. but if you keep on putting yourself in other people's shoes, you won't be able to be yourself. as it is good to have some empathy, but sometimes, you need to be selfish too. if they can't take it, then they have to deal wif it because you should be proud of who you are.
ReplyDeletei like you the way you are. so there.
Thanx Mala.. Those words really make my day :)
ReplyDeletei agree with you Yaya, sorry can only be said when you really mean it. otherwise, it would be something meanless over time.
ReplyDeletebut still, it's always fine to give it up sometimes and be the one who seek forgiveness rather than waiting for the other party to act, provided you have equal share that contributes to the quarrel la..
and yes, like mala said, selfish is necessary at times.
Quntum: We do need to be selfish at times.. Kalo tak nanti kene buli.. hehehehe
ReplyDelete