Things I hate about myself..

Familiar with the term "Kerana mulut, badan binasa" ?

I get myself into trouble because this big fat mouth of mine. I like to talk, and many of times, words were spoken out without the mind doing the thinking.. And many hearts were hurt.. I've tried to be extra careful with every word I was about to say but I ended up talking less. When I did think too much, I didn't feel like talking at all.. I tried to listen more but I ended having monologues and I heard nothing from the other party. My mind will wandered around while the other party kept on talking.. In the end, I'm not being the chatty ol' me..

I used to be a girl with a vengeance. I wanted people to hurt like how I was hurt. I stayed silent when people were saying their sorry. I wanted them to suffer begging for my forgiveness. But as I grew older, nothing is more satisfying than having to hear people said their sorry..

I learned that it takes a lot of guts to utter that simple word. Saying sorry shows how remorseful and miserable they feel. And I don't feel the needs to say anything else because deep inside their hearts, they've learned the lesson. The hatred surrounded my heart melted like the ice under the hot sun when people delivered that word especially when it came from the one I love so dearly. I needed to say nothing more.

As much as I hate seeing people begging for my forgiveness, I wish not to put myself in that place. Begging is for slaves and I am no slave. I didn't say that 5-letter-word if I didn't feel the grief. The word were expressed when I really, really meant it. I had learned the lesson and I prayed not to repeat it. And even if I did, it was unintentionally. Accept me for who I am. People make mistake because none of us is perfect..

It's Sunday and at Putrajaya

I am typing this entry at Mr.Joe's office. Mr.Joe had to work this morning. His Department will launch a big event tomorrow. So he brought me here with him and later we can still catch a movie.

This is my 2nd time here. The 1st was last Friday when Mr.Joe had to stay back so he brought me here while he did his work and I was busy snapping pictures. His office is huge. Boleh buat sideroll 5 pusingan badan. Tapi kerusi die tak best, keras. Sangat tak selesa untuk tido.

Ah, bosannye..
I brought my work along.. Daa, I'm off to do my work too..

Untitled

"Lulus"

"Huh?"

"Spaghetti"

"Tak pedas ke. Pastu cam manis sangat tak?"

"Ok je. Sedap. Tq baby"

hihihihihi.. Senyum meleret sengsorang baca sms..
Mr.Joe cakap tak sedap, konfem aku merajuk kan.. heeee

Play cook #2

Ah, ofis blackout lagi.. I'm so fed up, it's so frequent these days.. Nasib baik hanya lampu tak menyala.. I am typing in the dark..

Anyway, I am now eating my breakfast cooked by myself. *clap hands* Yup, I woke up early and made my own and Mr.Joe's breakfast for 2 days already.. Ma and Pa went to Perak on Monday to send Bro Wan for his interview at UTP and stayed overnight.. And they arrived late last night.

Today is spaghetti.. I cooked spaghetti last night for my dinner and I heated it this morning.. But my spaghetti is very pedas. I innovated the recipe and put in cili padi to make it extra hot. However it turned out extra peri-peri hot.. I like it tapi mesti Mr.Joe merah2 telinga masa makan.. hee..

When it comes to cooking, I am truly, deeply, extremely malas. 2years back, before Kamini, (Sis Yanie's maid) came, I was only malas. I still cooked a little bit everyday. But now, it's so severe.. I only cooked when there's nothing to eat or Ma fell sick and she cant cooked. only then I'll cook. On the normal ground, I just help Ma in the kitchen....doing the cleaning thing..heee

Give me all the cleaning work to me, I'll make it squeaky clean but if you gave me a ladle and a cooking pot, ah, that's when I'll scratch my head yang tidak gatal.

Talking about spaghetti, I remember at Suzy's wedding, Akmal and I were discussing about how expensive to get married these days and Akmal said, "Why cant we have spaghetti served during the wedding, I'm sure it'll be much cheaper"

I think so tooo :)

Meetings and food

Meetings with Datuk mean good food are served.

When we ordered meehoon, you can see huge prawns. As for dessert, expensive and colourful fruits like grapes, kiwi, cherry, mango and dragonfruit. Ah, really mouth watering I tell you. Tak makan rugi and some of the members of the meeting can manage to eat 2 plates. However, today was a disaster when the person in charged accidentally forgot to place the order.

I freaked-out this morning..

What to do, what to do and kept calling Mr.Joe.

Relax.
Relax. Mr.Joe said.

In the end, we were served sandwiches, cold samosa and a plate of honeydew. Ordered from the cafe downstairs.

The moment I stepped into the meeting room,

Suraya, what is this. Mana meehoon or nasi goreng..

Aiyak.. You came here for meeting or to eat???

Well, everyone must be so hungry because the meeting ended with empty plates on the table. Hmm, the brains must be working so hard preparing for Datuk's meeting..

Tagged #6

I just got off a very stressful meeting.. I need air..

Tagged by Liyana

5 Things..

5 things in my bag:
Handbag I supposed

1. Homekeys
2. Handphone
3. Wallet
4. Make-up bag
5. Camera

5 things in my wallet:

1. Money
2. Driving License
3. ATM Card
4. Credit Card
5. IC

5 favourite things in my bedroom:

1. The tv set
2. 2 big mirrors
3. A soft toy teddy named WanMOT which I like punched when we had a fight (lepas geram.hee)
4. My bed
5. My laptop

5 things I wish to do

1. Get married
2. Buy a house
3. Decorate the house
4. Quit my job
5. Get myself into business and make tonnes of money

5 things I’m doing now

1. Munching twisties
2. Updating my pending task.. (Fuh banyak gila kerje..hehehe..)
3. Counting minutes to go home
4. Daydreaming (kerje banyak pun daydreaming)
5. Counting minutes for lunch (makan burger for breakfast pun tak cukup. My brain must be working very hard to consume such energy. hee)

Get back to work...

Short story

Mr.Joe masih dalam meeting walhal jam dah pukul 6.30pm.

Sejak ade camera baru ni kan, asyik nak snap gambar je. Jadi saja gatal snap gambar meja ofis yang menjerit-jerit kecil menyuruh saya buat 5S.




Gara-gara terlewat keluar minit mesyuarat, maklum balas tak mendapat sambutan. Lantak lah (Boleh tak camtu?)

Sebab semua orang dah nak balik, saya terpaksa keluar ofis jugak. Banyak sangat cerita seram berlaku kat ofis Aras 4 tu. Pack2 barang, tunggu Mr.Joe kat luar sambil main Diner Dash dalam handphone.

Tiba2, hujan turun, masuk balik tunggu kat sofa lobi utama bersama driver2. Lantaklah (lagi sekali) dan continue main Diner Dash.

Aiyo, dah nak pukul 7 ni. Sms Mr.Joe jap, Chairman tak solat ke, ayat bisa-berbisa. Ntahlar diorang ni .

Mendengus2 sambil main Diner Dash balik. Beberapa minit kemudian, dah bosan main Diner Dash. Dah bergerak 1 level yang sangat susah.

Apelar start meeting pukul 5.30. Tahu tak hari Jumaat ialah hari semuorang pulang awal. Ada yang nak balik kampung, ada yang plan nak tengok movie midnight, ada yang plan nak tido awal sebab esok nak gi jogging. Merampuih2 saya menunggu Mr.Joe. Tak marah Mr.Joe, marah Chairman meeting die. Sian Mr.Joe, kejap2 sms,
-Ok tak tu?
-Tunggu kat dalam tau, jangan tunggu luar.
-Jap nak abis dah.
-Jap nak abis dah.
-Jap nak abis dah. (Bape kali daaaa)

Pukul7.30, dah gelap. Hujan turun lebat, kilat, guruh.

Mr.Joe tepon. "Dah abis dah"

Then, baru teringat Bro Wan soh bawak balik cop. Camne nih, taknak masuk sorang2. Malas nak tunggu Mr. Joe temankan.

Masa Night Walk Modul Bomba, boleh jer jalan 2 km dalam estet getah disinari cahaya bulan dengan memakai helmet Bomba yang busuk. Oleh itu, ku gagahi jua masuk ke ofis berhantu itu. Bila lagi nak test power kan.

Cis, ofis gelap gelita. Takut, berlari2 ke tempat suis lampu. Berlari2 ke cubicle, ambil cop n berlari2 tutup suis. Fuh, selamat keluar dari ofis tanpa sebarang weird encounter.

Keluar2, Mr.Joe dah menunggu kat luar lobi.

Dah amik cop ker?
Dah. Terus berlalu masuk kereta konon2 merajuk sebab kena tunggu lame.
Hehe.

Tapi tak merajuk lama pun. Masa nak solat Maghrib kat Surau Presint 16, Mr.Joe hampir jatuh tergelincir kat surau. Tak tahan nak gelak lar.. heeee

Shopaholic

I guess, girlfriends were pestering their boyfriends to tag along watching The Confession of a Shopaholic last month. A chick-flick which I have no desire to watch. I have a few of the novels at home and I never read the synopsis at the back. I heard Sis Yanti told me about how this woman goes nut when it comes to shopping. I say that woman is insane. It is just not that entertaining to watch a woman making a fool of herself about shopping. Well, I like man to view us as intellectual and organized in managing money..hee

Anyway, I like to spend money when April lurks in. It's like pampering myself for my birthday. So I bought a camera, some clothes and this expensive book from Reader's Digest. I love the book so much. I will put an entry about it later.

Oh well, I wish Malaysia is like US or most of the Europe countries where you can shop and return the item to get your money back if you didn't like the item you bought. Car*efour is doing it. I returned items many of times and I got a full refund. Ju*co is implementing it too but you have to exchange with other item and it wont give money refund.

If only all the shops in Malaysia are implementing it, I'll wear new clothes every week.

I'm free..

Yep, I'm free from being the secretariat of the most fearsome meeting in this Ministry. Seriously it is. When that time comes, every member of the meeting is so intense. I gave them the one year planned schedule meetings and it seems like they find ways to skip themselves with something else from attending the meeting.

It was a good experience listening to all the top guns discussing serious matters regarding the Ministry. I get to know 1st hand all the latest news. I get to learn how all these JUSAs and 54s counter-act bombastic questions from Mr.Chairman. I observed all these bosses and for 3 months now, I respect some but I was disappointed with several as well. If this is my core job, I dont mind doing it. I get to eat VIP's food during the meeting and hearing Mr.Chairman addressing me as Cik Suraya as if I'm a very important person there.

Well, I have my core job to attend to.. DPA 2/2008 will be over in 2 weeks. And I'm relieved. I will have time to "5S" my cubicle. Seriously, it looks like jungle of papers in here..

I heard someone told me that when a PTD reaches M52, he/she needs to decide whether he wants to specialize in management or finance. I'm deciding now, I want to do finance. I love controlling money.. ($$$$$$$$)

~ The bosses must be cursing me now. Next meeting is on Monday morning. I sent the minutes this morning and the maklumbalas are to be sent before 5 today.. hehehe..

Dgn kamera baru..

Tujuan muka disengetkan dan tangan diletakkan di dagu adalah trick menyembunyikan double chin yang huge..

Ni lar tempat yang dihabiskan dari jam 7.30 pagi hingga 5.30 petang.. Makin lama makin banyak fail.. Tak sabar nak dapat bilik.. Renovation dalam proses..

~Dapat Menteri sama... Dedi Izanee dapat balik Menteri nya.. Ihik

New toy

Yippee..
So I bought a new gadget today!!
While the seller is walking towards her sanctuary, I'm blogging an entry. I was thinking whether I should or should not upload the photo of my sweet seller.. hehehehe

I'm so happy because it was a very2 good deal and it came from someone very dear..

You can come n visit it ok..

Back to work Yaya and stop meddling with that new toy.. You have all the time in the world later when you get back from work..

Anyway, I'm having second thoughts on buying C902 now. What's the point of paying 5MP camera for a handphone if you already have a good camera eh?

2-3months used C902 are selling around RM650 to RM700.. Hmm, I'm letting Mr.Joe to decide since he's paying for it.. hee..

The price of gold closed at RM100.89/gram on 7th April.. Can't you go any lower??

~My digi camera is so cute!!!

Gone

I looked up at the sky while Mr.Joe is driving. When I saw a flock of birds flying freely, I can't help myself but wishing that I have wings and able to fly to some place so far away from home.

For 25 years, I have never left home more than a month.I have never felt the sadness of leaving home for months or maybe years.. And no one has ever cried of not having me at home for a long period of time..

Yaya's always at home. She's like the home guardian. Everyone comes and goes but she stays..

Therefore, I sometimes wonder, how's it like not having me at home. What if I suddenly gone. Will anyone misses me...

Blamed

People mask themselves with their best behaviour.

But when they're under stress, that's when you can see them at their ugliest side.

They tend to blame others, put other people's pants on fire as long as they're safe. I say these people are cowardice.. too bad, the world has so many of them..

Food is heaven..

Almost 2 years ago, I can manage to held myself from eating and lived on a vegie diet for 2 months plus a session of 4km jog on the treadmill n 40 minutes aerobic. I woke up at 6.30 (that time I was an honourably unemployed), I started my day with a slice of bread and a small cup of coffee before I started my jogging session while watching TV.

And now, I can't hardly bring myself to do even a 30 minutes Trim Your Body Fat Zones and I ate like a p**. I hate my big fat tummy and the difficulties to put on my pants (the pants when I was slimmer). Man I'm so fat.. 2 weeks ago, my Ministry did this BMI thing and my BMI increases by 2.3. Yeah, still in normal range but I want my old BMI.

I love food and I hate to see food wasted and thrown inside the bin. You can asked Mr.Joe, there wasn't a time that I'd never finished my meal. I think this may be one of the reason why I cant cut down my calorie intake.

I can hear those tiny voices, "Eat all your food, eat all your food. The Palestinians live in hunger and you're wasting food. How selfish and ungrateful" each time I tried to leave all those food on the plate.

Getting married in 4 months, I really need to lose all these jigglies..hahaha.. And Mr.Joe joked at me about my tummy weighs 7kgs.. heh..

More money, haih...

My digital camera is broken.. The flash goes too bright and I can't even take any outdoor pictures.. I bought the camera in 2006.. And it only lasted for less than 3 years.. *sigh*

If it's worth fixing, I'll fix it and cont using. If it's not, then I need to save monthly to buy a new one.. A DSLR? I still prefer a compact digital camera which I can put in my handbag or Mr.Joe pockets.

And I think I need to change my handphone immediately. I think the phone has trouble capturing signals making it annoyingly hard to reach..

Then Mr.Joe said: Nak camera ke Handphone utk hantaran ni??

Emmm, tak tahu nak respon ape.. hehehe.. sebab nak dua2.. heh


Abg Hadi, this is the answer to your ques:
iPhone is too expensivo lar.. I go for a fridge and I am now eyeing on SE C902.. That phone should be good enough for a non-IT-savvy like I am *wink*

It's now April

How time flies.. It's now April n I'm turning 25 in a few weeks.. *hint*

March was a busy month for me.. Had to organize a 5 day workshop at PD.. Alhamdulillah everything went well. It was a good experience for me.. Running back and forth wearing 3 inches heels organizing 72 participants .. gila!

Anyway, TBR isn't a good place to do a workshop or courses.. Family day, yes but other than that which only needs rooms and seminar hall, better find other hotels which don't include maintenance fee for it's big swimming pool on the bill..

I was not satisfied with lots of things especially when the employees were bickering so near to us and we cant help but listen to them. If you want to blame each other, please do it somewhere else and not at 2metres away from your customers.. It made us feel so uncomfortable..

Mama and Bro Wan came on the 3rd day and we enjoyed ourselves in the pool, playing Frisbee and experienced fish spa. Well, I just realize that my hydrophobia is getting worse when I cant even dive at all. I got panic when there's so much water on my face. I tried to swim but I cant.. I was so scared of the water even though it was only at waist high.

Mama really enjoyed fish spa. She screamed a bit when the fish first touched her feet and everyone near us came to watch. heh.. But after a while, she likes it so much and she did fish spa again the next day. The fish were huge! Not the tiny little thing we see hear in KL..

So, I am now back at the office. There's a new PSU reporting when we were all at PD.. He's stationed in the Unit that takes care of TKSU(K)'s monthly meeting.. It's time for me to give back this task.. Ah, I can't wait to get myself free from this thing..

Online shopping, lalalala..

Suddenly, I go crazy over tunic dress or babydoll dress.. Having big bums like I am, I don't think it looks nice to wear a short blouse unless when I'm wearing a skirt. So, instead of wearing leggings I substitute it with pants. Sure, e-Bay is my 1st place to search for it and I was going crazy looking at all those cute2 dresses..

And I already bought 4. Promise, no new clothes for 6 months! hehe..

Anyway, I was on e-Bay like every 3hours checking on their newest products. And I realize that everytime the items ended with no bidding at all, they will add on ebay again. Some may reduce the price and some just remain the same (a shop owner usually remains the same price even how many times they displayed the items). So, if you were eyeing on certain items (not a shop owner's item), no one's bidding it and you think it's too expensive, then you should just wait. The owner may reduce the price when she displays it on e-Bay again.

My boss bought an iPhone. Having a new toy, she kept on showing me on how high tech the phone is.. Yeah, it's seducing me on having one.. Then Abg Hadi bought a Blackberry.. Korang ni memang ar menggoda.. I kept on saying to meself, I don't need a 2K handphone, I need a humongous fridge to put all those ready-to-eat frozen foods once I have my own home..hee

152 out of 244.. I have no life..haha

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 244 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own facebook account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun. Tag 10 people.


() Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End
() Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
(X) Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
() Blazing Saddles
() Airplane
Total: 6

(X) Saw
() Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(X) Anger Management
(X) 50 First Dates
(X) The Princess Diaries
(X) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 11

(X) Scream
(X) Scream 2
(X) Scream 3
(X) Scary Movie
(X) Scary Movie 2
(X) Scary Movie 3
(X) Scary Movie 4
(X) American Pie
(X) American Pie 2
(X) American Wedding
() American Pie Beta House
Total so far: 21

(X) Harry Potter 1
(X) Harry Potter 2
(X) Harry Potter 3
(X) Harry Potter 4
(X) Resident Evil 1
(X) Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
() The Village
(X) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 29

(X) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(X) Signs
(X) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(X) White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
(X) 13 Going on 30
(X) I, Robot
( ) Robots
Total so far: 35

(X) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(X) Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(X) Along Came Polly
(X) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(X) Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
(X) Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
() KING KONG
Total so far: 42

(X) A Cinderella Story
(X) The Terminal
(X) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
(X) Final Destination
(X) Final Destination 2
(X) Final Destination 3
(X) Halloween
(X) The Ring
(X) The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
() Flubber
Total so far: 52

(X) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(X) Practical Magic
() Chicago
(X) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(X) Hellboy
(X) Secret Window
(X) I Am Sam
(X) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 59

(X) The Day After Tomorrow
(X) Child's Play
(X) Seed of Chucky
(X) Bride of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
(X) Just Married
(X) Gothika
(X) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
(X) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
(X) The Grudge
(X) The Grudge 2
(X) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far:71

(X) Bad Boys
(X) Bad Boys 2
(X) Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Slevin
(X) Ocean's Eleven
(X) Ocean's Twelve
(X) Ocean's Thirteen
(X) Bourne Identity
(X) Bourne Supremecy
(X) Bourne Ultimatum
( ) Lone Star
() Bedazzled
(X) Predator I
(X) Predator II
(X) The Fog
(X) Ice Age
(X) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far:85

(X) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(X) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(X) Maid in Manhattan
(X) War of the Worlds
(X) Rush Hour
(X) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 91

( ) Best Bet
(X) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(X) She's All That
() Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
() Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(X) Ever After
(X) Wizard of Oz
(X) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(X) The Terminator
(X) The Terminator 2
(X) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 99

(X) X-Men
(X) X-2
(X) X-3
(X) Spider-Man
(X) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
() Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Little Mermaid
(X) Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
(X) Cruel Intentions
(X) Cruel Intentions 2
(X) The Hot Chick
(X) Shrek
(X) Shrek 2
(X) Shrek 3
Total so far: 112

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
(X) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
(X) A Walk to Remember
(X) Ice Castles
(X) Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 116

(X) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(X) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(X) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(X) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(X) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 122

( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
() Elf
(X) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
Total so far:123

( ) The Jacket
(X) Kung Fu Hustle
(X) Shaolin Soccer
(X) Night Watch
(X) Monsters Inc.
(X) Titanic
( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 128

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(X) Hulk
(X) Dawn Of the Dead
(X) Hook
(X) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
( ) 28 weeks later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
Total so far: 132

(X) Kill Bill vol 1
(X) Kill Bill vol 2
(X) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
(X) Kingdom of Heaven
(X) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
(X) Army of Darkness
Total so far:138

(X) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(X) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(X) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(X) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(X) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(X) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 144

(X) The Matrix
(X) The Matrix Reloaded
(X) The Matrix Revolutions
(X) Animatrix
(X) Evil Dead
(X) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
() Red Dragon
(X) Silence of the Lambs
(X) Hannibal
Total so far: 152

Now Add them up and...
Put in the subject line and repost..

Aku tak pernah tag sape2 ek..

I'm tagging: Mala, Naz, Kuntum, Abg Hadi, Min, Fariq, Farah, Yana, Ikram, Tapai.. Cukup 10..hehehe

sukehati la korang nak buat ke tak.. :D

The motivation

I was browsing through my old emails. And I saw this email from my mentor. We were asked to write an essay. And this was what she wrote back.

Dear Suraya,

First of all please apologize for my delayed response. I was on leave and attending a course.

I must say I was very impresses with your casual yet very genuine and frank thoughts on the question I had post to you.

Well, girl you have the right attitude to be in the service and most importantly to be a good human being. I am glad with the progress you have made both in your course as in your personal life. My sincerest best wishes to you.

I hope this inner spirit and attitude will not only prevail but also be nurtured and groomed in the future. I am certainly positive, you will make not only your dad but also your friends proud in your achievements. I am certainly very proud of your standings at this moment.

Keep up the good work and keep on having the positive outlook.

May the good lord bless you.

See you around soon!

We called our mentor Ms. Veni. She is in the communication programme. Forever busy and I only met her twice. Therefore she asked us to write to her a genuine feeling about DPA and the impact on us.

I like DPA. I don't mind doing it again, with same old crowd of people but without the sideroll thing please =)

Reminiscence

Saya penat, teramat penat. Saya mahu nangis di peha mama tanpa perlu menjelas sepatah pun dan mama akan berkata, "Tiada ada masalah yang tidak dapat selesai." Tapi mama tidak berada di sisi. Saya tidak mahu menyusahkan kawan, saya tidak mahu membebankan mereka.

Tapi saya masih punya Tuhan. Allah sentiasa di sisi saya. Sebagaimana saya seringkali melupakanNya kerana kenikmatan dunia, Dia tetap sentiasa di sisi saya. Dan saya menangis teresak2 di atas tikar sejadah memohon keampunan ke atas kelalaian saya.

Tatkala hati berkecamuk, resah dan keliru, hanya Dia lah tempat memohon ketenangan. Dan hanya cintaNya yang kekal abadi tanpa syarat."Ikut hati mati, ikut nafsu lesu, ikut rasa binasa"Berulang kali pepatah tersebut saya ulangi dalam fikiran saya.

Jangan diikutkan nafsu amarah yang sedang membuak2. ketika hati sedang bergelora, ambillah wudhuk dan bacalah ayat2 suci Al-Quran dan tunaikan solat sunat minta petunjuk daripadaNya.

Itu pesan Mama..

Namun, saya bukan insan sempurna. Seringkali mengungkap kata2 pedas ketika telinga ditiup dengan bisikan iblis dan syaitan. Dan setiap kali jua saya menyesal atas perbuatan yang dilakukan dan perkataan yang diucapkan, melukakan insan2 di sekeliling saya tanpa disedari.

Hari ini setelah hampir 2 tahun, saya beristikharah sekali lagi memohon petunjuk daripadaMu, Ya Allah... Semoga jalan yang dipilih ialah jalan yang terbaik dan diredhai-Mu..

Hate getting sick..

I have realized long ago when I'm not in the great state of health, I will not be in the great state of myself. I'll be easily offended, I'll be super sensitive to all the jokes about me n lastly I'll feel myself as a burden to someone else..

When I was in school, whenever I got sick, Ma will force me to go see the doctor. I hate going to the clinic before and I still hate going to the clinic now. If I refused going to the clinic, then I have to go to school (dengan maksud tersirat nya, I can't pretend being sick and making excuses to skip school). And I always ended up going to school instead eventhough I was not well.

But school is different. If you were sick, you can lie down at the room for sick people and went home when the bell rang. I did that often in order to skip seeing the doctor. The friends will come visit bringing food during recess or in between classes.

In the working world, when you are not well, you have to take MC, meaning I have to see the doctor. Or else, I have to use my yearly leaves which is such a waste. So, I go to work. But I cant work. I feel dizzy, my throat hurts, I'm cold, I have running nose and the palms are sweating..

I know I'm the worse when I'm not well. I think most people are.

I read once in a book, but I can't remember which. 1 of the characters is a very happy girl whom always think good about other people. A positive thinker. Whenever one was being grumpy all the time or one wouldn't smile that day, she always make up excuses for them. "Maybe he has a rough day, maybe she's not well, maybe he just lost his job." It's one of her way not to think bad of others..

I wish people out there were like that including myself..

And I wish I were at home curling myself under the blanket on my comfy bed and drinking hot Milo..

They are getting smarter or....

Congrats to Bro Wan sebab dapat straight A's SPM ni.. Teringat Ma nak bagi something enormous kalau dia dapat result cemerlang. Ma, jangan bagi motor kat dia eh. Nanti dia merempit.

Dimaklumkan 6ribu lebih students seluruh Malaysia dapat 8A dan ke atas? Giler ah..

Teringat zaman Sis Yana and Sis Yanie SPM tahun '93, '94, sape dapat 9A1, masuk paper bergambar solo. Sekarang, if nak bergamba solo dalam surat khabar, buat surat khabar sendiri lah. Semua nak masuk surat khabar, tebal macam buku telefon nanti.

Masa call Bro Wan, tadi terharu pula saya atas kejayaan dia. Semalam muka toya tak lalu makan sebab risau dengan result nak dapat hari ni. Tadi, punye la ceria. Belum sempat tanya, "Ya, straight A's. Nak hadiah, nak hadiah!"

Cis..

superwoman getting sick..

Yer, saya memang selalu migraine, lepas tu ade resdung plak tapi saya jarang2 demam panas..
Hari ini, eyeballs saya terasa panas, muka pun panas, kaki sejuk and badan rase panas berpeluh..

Saya tak ingat bila last time saya demam panas. Demam selsema tu lain. Ni demam panas yang disertai pening2 loya dan muntah, kena makan parasetamol tiap 6 jam..

Sebagai bekas pesakit demam denggi, chances untuk dapat denggi kali ke2, ke3 dan seterusnya lebih tinggi sebab kuman tu dah ade dalam tubuh, tunggu something nak trigger dia je. Bila saya mula rasa nak demam macam ni, saya takut je kena denggi lagi..

Tobat, taknak kena denggi lagi.. Tu lar penyakit paling teruk saya pernah kena.. Masa kena chicken pox tu okey lagi, cuma kegatalan kulit yang melampau. Once dah makan ubat dan perut kenyang, boleh tido lena.

Tapi denggi ni, dahla pening loya 24/7. Makan je, muntah. Badan panas, kena makan parasetamol tiap 4 jam. Tau2 la kan makan parasetamol dengan perut kosong camne rasenye.. Orang asyik suruh minum air bebanyak, minum air pun muntah tau. Perut ni kosong je, lapar memang lapar, tapi bila makan mesti muntah. Tidur malam sentiasa berjage sebab mimpi ngeri. Kakak saya siap datang all the way dari Kelantan cucuk IV kat lengan. Bro Wan yang kena denggi serentak dengan saya kena admit masuk wad.

Doctor yang diagnose Bro Wan tu macam kerek ckit. Mungkin sebab kami berpakaian selebet. Bila Bro Wan kena admit, doctor ni dengan kerek nya cakap kat mak saya, "Wad kelas kedua and kelas ketiga dah penuh. Kelas pertama je ada. Boleh check dengan HKL if ada ward class 2 and 3 yang kosong" dengan nada macam mengejek. Tau lar kami berpakaian seperti orang kampung, muka selebet masa tu, ape ingat kami tak mampu ker? Lepas dari itu, Ma pun speakong cakap husband dia ex-senior govt officer and he's son entitled to 1st class ward. Lepas tu baru doctor tu start layan kami baik2.

Kenapa ada double standard pada rupa paras? Kami tak memperlekehkan you, kenapa you nak looked down on us? If orang yang kerek, you kerek balik, tak pe lar. Saya sokong.

Kesimpulannya, jangan biar diri anda digigit aedes. Kena denggi payah wey.. 100+ tu your best friend masa sakit.. Bila dah sembuh, jangan harap nak minum 100+ lagi..

Hidayah, anugerah terhebat Allah

Bila kita rasa kita hebat, kadangkala kita pandang rendah pada orang lain. Bertudung bulat, berstokin tak bermakna kita lebih baik berbanding yang hanya bertudung segi tiga. Sifat riak tu tak sepatutnya ada dalam diri kita. Sama macam bila kita riak membawa kereta "Aku tak pernah accident", tengokla, lagi dua-tiga hari korang akan diduga Allah..

Adalah suatu yang sangat indah bila kita lihat perubahan yang sangat drastik kepada seseorang yang dahulunya boleh dikatakan tersasar dari ajaran Islam yang sepatutnya. Kini, dah bertudung, gambar2nye yang dahulu agak terdedah telah dibuang daripada photos FB. Dan beliau sangat2 bersyukur diberi petunjuk sebelum ajal datang menjemput. Dia sangat2 cantik bertudung sekarang. Saya suka.. Rasa macam nak peluk dia erat2..

Orang selalu cakap, orang yang tersesat ni, tak dapat hidayah daripada Allah dan Allah hanya memberi hidayah pada insan2 yang dipilihNya.. Tapi sesetengah ulamak berkata, hidayah itu perlu dicari dan insyaAllah ia akan datang pada kita.

Sesetengah daripada kita, memandang serong pada saudara baru. Kononnya mereka yang dilahirkan sebagai Islam lebih baik daripada yang baru memeluk Islam. Bagi saya, korang silap. Mereka yang baru menemui Islam ni (yang memeluk Islam bukan sebab perkahwinan) kebanyakannya lebih baik daripada mereka yang dilahirkan sebagai Islam. Kerana bagi saudara baru ini, mereka nampak kesucian Islam itu daripada pandangan seorang yang tersasar sehingga membuat mereka tertarik untuk memeluk Islam. Mereka lebih menyayangi Islam dan mendalami Islam dengan sebaik2nya kerana mereka bersyukur mereka menemui sesuatu yang sangat suci.

Saya dah bosan dengan pandangan2 pelik orang di surau shopping complex ketika saya hendak solat. Saya pernah terdengar bisikan budak kecik kepada ibu mereka "Nape orang Cina tu solat mak"
Saya tak geram dengan ayat budak kecil tu, saya geram dengan reply mak nya, "Dulu je dia Cina" dengan nada yang macam memperlekehkan.

Helo, if betul saya saudara baru, saya kecik hati tau.. Tak boleh ker bagi jawapan yang lebih bernas seperti "Dia bukan orang Cina, dia orang Islam dan dia sayangkan Allah, sebab tu dia solat"

Dilahirkan sebagai Islam tak bermakna kamu tu superior sangat dalam Islam. Bila saudara baru cuba nasihatkan sesuatu, jangan la dibalas dengan ayat, "Kau tu dulu kafir, macam kau tahu banyak sangat". Ustaz Ridwan Tee menangis bila bercerita tentang hal ini.

Nauzubillah himinzalik, minta Allah jauhkan dugaan ini kepada saya dan anak cucu cicit saya. Tapi saya geram la tengok orang2 Melayu yang letak Religion = "Muslim" dalam FB die tapi dengan bangganya dalam album ada gambar tengah minum beer. Ko nak buat taik, ko buat sorang la, jangan babitkan agama tu sendiri.

Dah banyak negara2 Islam yang Allah jatuhkan bala. Tak mustahil suatu hari nanti adalah Malaysia. Bacalah qunut nazilah supaya dijauhkan bala kepada kita.

~Saya tak pandai agama. Cuma meluahkan apa yang saya rasa, apa yang saya tahu.

"Saya kurus"

"Udah2 la tu cakap diri ko tu gemok Yaya.. If ko gemok, aku ni ape, obese"

Oops, sori geng. Bukan niat saya nak menyinggung perasaan sesiapa. Tapi memang ternyata lemak tepu semakin bertambah. Mungkin saya terpengaruh dengan satu insan ini yang mana saya tak sangka akan jadi BFF masa DPA kerana pada awalnya berlaku sedikit perselisihan faham masa Modul Ekonomi dan OBS telah menyatukan kami.

Minah ni kan, walaupun dia slim cantik, dia masih obsess dengan berat badan dia. Tahu tak dia ni sentiasa buat sit-up before tidur and masa tengok TV, burger dia plain tanpa mayonis (Mayo itu umpama kuman E.coli bagi nya), kalau dia tahu dia akan makan banyak, dia akan skip meal beforehand, masa kat DPA dia tak kisah pegi jogging sorang2 and sangat suka pergi swimming.

Saya suka dia.. Bila die cakap saya dah naik badan, straight bila balik rumah, saya akan buat exercise gila2 punya. Ayat die memang tajam menikam tapi saya masih suka kawan dengan dia. Orang cakap die sombong and sentiasa speaking memanjang, tapi saya tahu hati dia baik and jarang2 sangat dia badmouthed about other people.

Then, dia sekarang housemate dengan sorang minah ni yang memang giler2. Sokmo cakap aku da gemok. Dia ni kiut2 je saiz nya. Bubbly and friendly. sumorang die boleh geng and couldnt care less about people. Dia ni suka makan tapi housemate dia suka exercise. At 1st die cakap agak stress sebab bila die tengah makan, sorang ni tengah buat sit-up. Dah lame2, dah jadi immune. Namun, masih tak dapat nak mempengaruhi sorang itu untuk makan banyak.

Jika nak kira pada umur, mereka baya kakak saya (no offense). Tapi umur tak menjadi penghalang untuk 3 orang berkawan baik kan asalkan sehati-sejiwa?



~Jutt, agak2 kalau kita bertiga serumah, boleh ke kita influence Noni to eat like us? hehe

Sambutan Maulidur Rasul Kebangsaan 1430H

Woke up at 5.30 this morning to follow Mr.Joe to Dataran Merdeka.. Sorry abg, for being a bit cranky this morning. I'm not a morning person and I know that's not an excuse. I'll control my temper much better in the future.

Today was the 2nd time celebrating something at national level. The 1st time was Merdeka Celebration. The weather was gloomy and it rained till afternoon. Then we saw Akmal which we ended up taking pictures and more pictures.

Sama tinggi at last

This was not an act. Thanx Akmal for the shot

Kekonon macam baru terserempak

We make good actors.hehe

It was still at dawn when we arrived

Seorang selebriti lelaki yang currently sedang kecoh dengan kisah penceraian dia juga ada di Dataran. Datang berbaju Melayu tetapi pakai rantai silver besar di leher. Hmmpphhhh..

Ooopss..

Ok, I went to Midvalley Mall (again) today with Ma. I need a woman's advice on buying women's stuff. Ma said the Pi**re C*rdin shoes are not nice. I took her words on it and decided to choose other shoes. However, my eyes fell in love with this 3-inch babies which is only at RM35, so I bought it. Not for hantaran but for my daily use to work.


We were very fortunate that we came today because J*sco was giving RM10 voucher for every RM100 purchase on make-up and cosmetic. I bought the perfume set for both of us and I bought the handbag which I can't wait to use it.. (Sabar, lagi 5 bulan boleh pakai..)

The salesperson at the perfume counter commented that Ma and I are like friends rather that mother and daughter relationship base from the conversation we had with ourselves. Ah, ayat pancing..

Yes we are =)

Shopping

It's been quite some time since I last step into Midvalley.. And I cant remember the last time I bought myself new clothes or shoes.. Jusco has it sales again.. This very pretty Carlo Rino heels are selling at RM19.00 only.. So soft and comfy when I tried it on.. Too bad, there were only 2 sizes left which is not my size.. Then I saw so many cheap beautiful clothes.. Thought of buying maybe 1 or 2.. But I managed to held myself from doing so.. I kept telling myself that I dont need those clothes eventhough they're so cheap.. So I put it back and continued my surveys on the barang hantaran. 

I tried this Pierre Cardin peep-toed heels.. So beautiful and very comfortable.. Pure leather.. I always bought those cheap PVC shoes which they ended up chap all over after quite some time.. And I think, once in a while, I should treat myself with something a bit more expensive, shouldn't I? Marmalade said this is the time to spend for the sake of the country's economic growth =) Mr.Joe said he'll buy that for the hantaran but he'll keep it until our wedding day. He said he cant trust myself for I might wear it before the wedding.. hehe.. Since I forgot to bring the Jusco card, we'll come again next week.

I still can't decide what kind of bag I want for the hantaran. But I know I dont want PVC anymore. Leather is worth buying. I am now wearing Ma's Bonia to work which she bought almost 30 years ago. It still looks new.. Kagum sebab beg tu still intact.. Ma pun bangga her daughter is wearing her bag =)

We went to watch Curious Case of Benjamin Button earlier. It's worth spending 3 hours in the cinema. I learned a lot from the movie. So glad I went to watch it with Mr.Joe.. One thing good about him is, he never once said anything bad about the movies I chose. I can be selfish and chose chick flicks everytime it's my turn to choose, but since he is so charming, I don't mind watching what he desires and he did the same to me.

Today is March 7.. InsyaAllah, 5months from now, I will be Mrs. Joe =)

We parted less than 2 hours ago, and I already miss him.. heee

Eh, kuar dalam suratkhabar..

Ala muka tak masuk suratkhabar...

~I've had enough of people saying "Yaya, tembamnyer".. huhuhu

It's finally over..

Honestly, I have never looking forward for DPA's Convo.. Because I know when that time comes, it'll be the last time for us to gather around.. Seriously, I was a bit sad when I was stepping out of PICC just now..

But it finally came.. Sure I was a bit excited especially when the fiance is graduating together.. Furthermore, my No'1 dress fits me so well.. It was so good to see all of DPA 1/2008 again.. Some are getting thinner, some are carrying another person inside them and we were all acting like children again.. Laughing and recalling the good old days..

Ni jerla satu2nye gamba yang ada.. Betapa panjangnye leher die.. Look at mine.. Macam kura2..

However.....
Mr.Joe had to leave early.. I was a bit frustrated and so did he.. I didn't blame him though.. I know how he loves gathering around all his friends, laughing at stupid jokes, making fun of each other and interfering in all the pictures.. But he had urgent matters.. He must've felt the same frustration as I am, so I was not making a big fuss about it.. I have my Ma and Pa.. They were so sporting, they even agreed to go back to Planery Hall and we took pictures on the stage along with Noni and Jutt, my 2 besties..

I was not satistfied with the group pictures though.. The picture won't have names, I know.. It'll be that type of picture with nameless small faces on it..

Anyway, tahniah abang sebab grad cemerlang.. Abg Ali must be so proud..ehehehe
Well, I took a token of remembrance of DPA's Convo.. Since Joe can't be there to take pictures with me, so I'll bring it to him.. Nanti kami pakai No.1 Dress semula and jadikan ini sebagai latar.. Ampun ya UDPA.. Korang buang jugak nanti kan?? If korang nak balik, nanti saya bagi balik..

Tahniah kepada batch DPA 1/2008.. Kita telah menunjukkan contoh yang baik pada group 2/2007.. (Bisik: Scandalous lar sebab takde anugerah Perdana Menteri.. ) DPA 1/2008 hebat!!!

Panjang umo, kita jumpa lagi ramai2 ye kawan2..

~Hadi, nanti email eh gambar yang ko ambik with your new camera pagi tadi..

Parlimen semakin panas..

I was supposed to be on duty at the Parlimen (again for the 6th time in 2 years) this coming Monday. But DPA's Convo rehearsel is scheduled on that day..

I was struggling to find other officer to switch with me..

I am so lucky this Doc agrees..

Rase nak pergi peluk2 doc tu, she's my saviour..

I guess, she agrees to switch because my partner is her officemate..

So, I'll be in Parlimen on the 4th March instead..

Anyway, what the heck happened at the Parlimen yesterday?

Kecoh nyer macam nak bertumbuk..

Rasanye, selepas ini mungkin akan lebih 'panas' lagi..

I've been at the Parlimen for 5 times witnessing all these people talking crap..
Pembangkang or Kerajaan, they are just the same..
I support MP Pasir Mas.. hehehe

Ape kes ni?

Tol naik lagi..

Extra 20sen everyday day..

Additional of RM4 per month..

Sigh..

~I guess, "Celaka" will be a popular word soon..

Have you check your savings amount lately?

Start saving people.. It's never too late to do it..

Surveys: Malaysians Not Saving Enough by Leong Hung Yee (The Star)

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysians are not saving enough and they are not prepared to face a financial meltdown should they lose their job or be retrenched.

According to the latest findings from Citi’s Financial Quotient (Fin-Q) 2008 survey, only two in five (39%) Malaysians actually save and less than one-in-three (28%) make and stick to a monthly budget.

Citibank Bhd head of segment and marketing, retail bank Timothy Johnson said the results from Malaysia show an average Fin-Q score of 51 points out of a possible 100 points, with 54% of Malaysians scoring 50 points and below.

A majority of Malaysians reported in the survey saved up to 20% of their monthly income - excluding the 11% in the Employees’ Provident Fund - and 12% said they do not save anything at all.

In the event of a job loss but with continued regular expenses, one-in-five indicated their savings would last for only four weeks.On average, Malaysians reported having 11 weeks of savings in reserve,“Against the backdrop of the current challenging economic environment, these findings are quite worrying,” Johnson said in a briefing yesterday.

He said although the Fin-Q scores in seven of the 11 subject areas have shown improvement, it was not.

“We believe that a lot more needs to be done to ensure Malaysians are truly financially savvy as the detailed survey results revealed that there is still room for improvement,” he added.

The Citi Fin-Q survey comprised 500 online interviews of 40 questions each, rolled out to determine the level of understanding among Malaysians about their personal finances and financial practices. The survey was conducted from Oct 15 -30.

Johnson said more Malaysians were taking an interest in their finances and the recent economic crisis had made saving for emergencies an important element for them.According to the survey, 56% are somewhat better off now than they were a year ago. Nevertheless, 37% were worried about their financial future. While 86% of Malaysians attempt to follow a budget, less than one-in-three (28) actually stick to the budget.

The Fin-Q also revealed that 30% Malaysians indicated they would “know exactly” and 60% have a “good idea” what to do if they were given six months salary to invest. There was also a 6% increase in the number of Malaysians who have a formal retirement plan and 56% are confident or somewhat confident that their savings will lead to a comfortable life in retirement.

Asked how much would be needed for retirement, Johnson said it was very subjective. He said the answer required thorough thinking and planing as the amount of money you need in retirement had a direct correlation to the style of living you wish to have.

“If you want to retire in Bahamas, you will need a bigger amount compared to living in a house in suburban area,” he said, adding that to gauge the figure, one should look at the current expenses and estimate how they might at retirement.

Johnson also pointed out a fascinating finding in the survey. He said 35% Malaysians believed that money can buy happiness.He said the Fin-Q was a snapshot of our current level of financial literacy and what we all need to do to better control our finances. Malaysians needed to be disciplined and have good financial management to ensure enough savings, he said.“I believe Malaysians should provide additional focus on developing and enhancing their level of financial literacy, more so given the current challenging environment.”

Do your budget and stick to it.. It always works for me.. Whenever I jot down every expenses and found that I already spent so much, I started to cut down on everything so that my expenses are always within the budget I've allocated..

Life won't be as easy as it is now.. Scholarship won't be that easy to get unless you are super excellent..Prices for food and other domestic things will never be reduced.. You have a family to support and your children's future education.. It's time to plan ahead..

So, window shopping is not good. It'll make you crave for EVERYTHING..

No shoes for me till the one I'm using now cant no longer be fixed, glued or sewed..

The extraordinary..

I watched Shall We Dance last Friday.. (Man, I think my bottom is getting as big as J.Lo..hehe)..
I did watch it a few years back during my trip to USM Penang
attending the Food Tech Seminar..
I wasn't concentrating much on the movie that time..
Anyway, I like the movie..
The dancing thing was great..
Richard Gere can really dance..
Well, I realized that life is not just by doing the ordinary things..
(My English sucks)
You have to move your butt and get yourself to do something you never did before..

A year ago, I packed my stuff for a 6 month course which consists of
military training, fireman training, police training, and Outward Bound School..
Honestly speaking, I never went for camping my whole 23 years..
Not even at the back of my school..

Papa was a bit protective about all this outdoor thing..
I was not allowed to join martial art society because he feared that
I may broke my bones during the training..
I hate the beach..
I hate jungle tracking..
I hate everything about outdoor activities..
I get myself comfortable staying at home watching TV or reading books or doing jigsaw puzzles..
pretty lame and very geeky..
The only games which I'm good at is Chess and a bit of Netball
and represented the school in 100m sprint..
The 1st time I went to KL by myself was when I was 16 to attend tuition classes at Kasturi..
Needed to go back home straight away..

Pa went for OBS when he attended RMC in year '67..
He did a full 25 day course..
The trainer during his time was a mat saleh which was old but very fit he said..
3days n 2 nights on every activity..
Imagine doing 3days 2 nights of solo camping??

Pa and Ma was very worried when I was going for OBS..
Oh yes, their last daughter, very petite and fragile..
sikit2 migraine, muntah2.. sakit lutut lah, gout lah..
Anyway, I did fine during OBS..
I didn't even puke once when I was canoeing the Pangkor Island..
Papa Fauzi was my canoe partner and he can be the witness..
I whaled to and fro..
I didn't bath during all the camping nights..
I climbed the 4 puncak and went back to OBML through a different route which was the highest peak carrying at least 5kg of weight on my back..

I went back from OBS feeling very fresh.. I did all those things which I thought I would never give a damn of doing in my life..

For some people, it may be something simple..
But for me, it was very, very extraordinary after all these years being cooped up in the house..

Pakai seluar koyak kat kangkang then meniarap atas semak dalam hutan jam 12 tengah malam memegang M16 loaded with blank bullets menunggu musuh tiba masa mlm ambush?
Nah, I've done that..

McDonald's wins..

Well, I was a bit shocked when I saw so many of them were eating at McD today..Yeah, sure McD has this promotion RM5.95 for certain McValue Meals..

And this may one of the reasons...

Mana nih..

I can't sit still.. I'm nervous like hell.. The maklumbalas of course! I sent a reminder last night at 1.30 in the morning while taking a break on my other minute writing..

I know it's still so early, some may arrive just before 8.30 and haven't checked their emails yet.. The meeting is this afternoon and there'll be a perjumpaan with the new T**** at 9.00 am.. I hope there'll sent me the maklumbalas..

I slept at 2 last night. Still feeling drowsy from the lack of sleep.. I arrived at 7.31am, drove like a madwoman.. Oh, yeah, coffee is a must this morning or I may doze off during the amanat thing or during the meeting.. I hope the perjumpaan won't drag until later than 12..

Pray for me people that everything will run smoothly this afternoon..

~Rasa nak EL je esok.. The last 2 weeks were tiring..

Benda murah yang tak bagus..

Saya suka beli barang yang murah2. (Barang2 yang tak boleh makan la and barang2 yang guna kat muka. Barang2 murah2 cmni sangat mencurigakan.) Pendapat mengatakan barang mahal dan branded tu bagus tak boleh dipakai berdasarkan pengalaman dan setelah saya mengikuti kelas mengenai industri dan perniagaan semasa zaman belajar dulu yang mana 50% atau lebih dibayar hanya untuk jenama dan promosi. (correct me if I'm wrong).

Anyway, saya telah membeli mouse laptop saya yang berharga paling murah kat rak kedai tu. Bro Pian cakap, kalau tak memerlukan kerja2 grafik, beli mouse murah pun dah cukup. So, I took his word on it. Mouse tu cute yang sengaja dibuat menyerupai tikus, ada mata kat tempat click and warna putih biru. Wayar boleh dilaras sebab bila guna laptop, tak la mengganggu dengan wayar2 tu. Tapi apalah rezeki yang sikit, mouse itu dah mula mengong and laptop asyik2 tak boleh recognized.

Lebih menggeramkan bila kita nak buat kerja cepat and mouse pulak buat hal. Rasanya macam wire dia dah loose sebab bila goncang2 kat wayar tu, elok sekejap. Tapi takat mana la sanggup asyik nak goncang wire tu.

Saya rasa, saya dah buat kerja2 surveyance yang terperinci apabila membeli barang. Barang yang mula nak habis stok macam eyeliner, compact powder, lipstick or facial wash, dah dibuat survey harga 2 bulan sebelum dijangka habis. Seperti satu kepuasan bila dapat beli barang dengan harga yang lebih murah kan? Tapi kadang2 bila terkena beli barang mahal or barang yang murah rosak cepat ni, saya amik kira sebagai takde rezeki. If tak hilang kat situ, akan hilang di tempat lain.

Bila nak masuk dunia berumahtangga, lagi banyak barang nak hafal harga. Saya ingat lagi Sis Yanti ada 1 buku yang ada senarai harga normal barang2 rumah untuk dibuat panduan bila shopping. Cadangan yang baik. Tak perlu besar. Saiz buku tiga 5 tu dah cukup dan boleh letak dalam handbag.

Apabila orang cakap yang duit itu tak boleh memberi kebahagian, saya kurang setuju. Tanpa duit juga tak boleh bahagia. Hidup berasaskan cinta dan kasih sayang tanpa duit, boleh bahagia ker? Ibu dan ayah hidup dalam stress sebab tak boleh menyediakan keperluan untuk anak2. Anak2 stress, cari kebahgiaan melalui cara yang salah.

Yer, harta dan duit itu juga ialah punca seorang menjadi jahat sebab sifat tamak. Teringat cerita gembala kambing zaman Rasulullah yang hidupnya sederhana dengan jumlah kambing yang sedikit tetapi beliau taat solat jemaah setiap waktu di masjid. Tiap2 hari dia berdoa supaya bilangan kambingnya bertambah. Akhirnya Allah memakbulkan doanya. Kambing dah jadi banyak, beliau terlalu sibuk jaga kambing. Mula2 tak solat jemaah, lame2 tak solat langsung.

Ah, perkara camnilah yang paling kita takuti. Sebab itu la, orang berharta yang beriman adalah sebaik2 manusia sebab harta ini ialah dugaan yang besar dalam hidup kita. Saya tak minta untuk kemewahan. Cukup asal dapat memberikan keperluan asas dan keselesaan. Saya sangat percaya yang berjimat itu sangat penting. Berjimat yer, bukan sampai tahap kedekut.

Orang yang hadapi kesusahan, akan sentiasa ingat kepada Allah atas dugaan kesusahan yang dihadapinya. Oleh itu, saya rasa, Allah sengaja taknak bagi saya peha kecik walaupun saya dah berdiet dan exercise gile2 punya. Mungkin sebab bile peha saya dah kecik, saya akan pakai seluar ketat..hehehe

Snippet #1

Pagi ni, masa tengah golek2 atas katil, malas nak bangun, mama pun panggil dari bawah, suruh bukak TV9, ceramah pasal nikah kahwin.

Ustaz tu mentioned, selain daripada ucap tahniah, ucapkanlah doa kepada pengantin:

Dalam bahasa Arabnya: Barakallah laka, wa barakallahu alaika wa jamaa bainakuma fi kulli khair

Maksudnya:
"Semoga Allah memberi barakah bagi kamu dan memberkati keluarga kamu, dan mengumpulkan kamu dalam kebaikan dan kepada kebaikan."


~It's time to change

Lelaki oh Lelaki #3

I was doing my minute writing half way but I couldn't concentrate anymore..

Anyway, men always say how they like women with less make-up. I don't know much about make-up. I learned how to used eye-liner (to make my eyes bigger) when I was 22. I don't know how to use eye-shadow and I hate using mascara. My make-up kit only consists of a compact powder, blusher, lipstick and eye-liner which I always bring along with me.

The reason why I only use light make-up is because I hate the washing process when I need to pray. In this hot and humid weather, you have to wear everything water-proofed. Therefore, you cant just wash your face with facial wash when you're wearing water-proof mascara and eyeliner. It'll take extra time to wipe away those things with eye make-up remover and another extra time to put it on again. Too much effort I told you.

Another reason is, if I always put on heavy make-up on normal occasion, people wont see the difference on my wedding day anymore.. Takde seri dah..

I gave some remark to him just now on the girls sitting a few table next to ours how beautiful they looked. Their skins were flawless. And he just said, "Too much make-up. It doesn't look natural" Anyway, men are as good as women in identifying whether the woman are wearing too much, light or nothing at all. well, not all of us have that natural beauty. But, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder people.. I don't need people of the world to say I'm beautiful. I only need him to say that. That's all the matters..

~He said I'm the cute type =)

The fourth..

He was late for our out-for-a-movie thing this morning to buy this.. I was sulking when he arrived.. And then Si Dia pun put this on my lap.. Tada..


Thanx sayang..

No, we weren't celebrating V'Day.. Other than having lunch together everyday, we haven't done anything together on weekends..It just happened that out plan for a movie falls on V'Day.. And he just felt like buying me a bouquet of flowers.. It's beautiful.. =) I wish the flowers stay fresh forever..

Some may say, it's not practical to give flowers. The cheapest may cost around RM50 per bouquet of 6 roses. I know because I always strolled down Petaling Street when I attended Kasturi Tuition and saw the price tags. Sure there's so much you can buy with RM50. I bought mama a dozen of roses a few times at Petaling Street, without the decoration, just plain fresh roses for just RM1.50 each. But with the deco and all, it'll skyrocketing high till RM50 per bunch and double the price on V'Day. Anyway, I like it when he presented me with one. He didn't give me often, just on special occasion or when he felt like it.

~I also like chocolates and diamonds.. *wink*

The never ending work..

I felt like breaking down and cry when I was so stressed out on work. The next meeting is on Monday, and there are a few more maklumbalas I have not yet received. Then this person sent an email saying that the maklumbalas should be sent earlier for them to answer. Well, I sent on 3 working days before the meeting. It should be sufficient enough to answer unless you are not doing your job after the meeting therefore you are unable to respond to it.

I only have 8 working days after the previous meeting. And I have my own and this other officer's work I need to attend to. These people don't like excuses. Excuses are unacceptable even how busy you are. When you were given a task, by hook or by crook, you just have to complete it.. sigh

Sabar, sabar.. Ni dugaan..

I know............

I miss my Uni years.. With nothing to worry about other than finishing the assignments and getting good grades. Woke up in the morning and went to class.. Adegan berlari mengejar bas sebab kami takde kereta, terlepas bas memang jawabnya tak masuk kelas lar.. Met up with friends and had our lunch.. Went to the library to study or just for a place to take a nap between classes.. Went for the seniors' or our coursemates' food sensory testing. Went to pasar malam for dinner or had our dinner at nearby stall.. Watched TV together in our so-called apartment. Cooked sahur during Ramadhan.. The scholarship money is good enough for the whole semester to last. No worries about that.. I wish i could turn back time and repeat the whole thing again..

Time travel..

2 years ago, I thought love is stupid..
2 years ago, I said that marriage is for the idiots. Why bother to live with another person who isn't related to you and going through all the hardship..
2 years ago, I said man is a self-centred lot..
2 years ago, I was thinking of not getting married and raised an adopted kid..
2 years ago, I was a strong believer that men only do good deeds to get something in return..
2 years ago, I only shed tears when watching those Korean drama which 1 of the main characters died..
2 years ago, I knew that men neither show their love with action nor words. "You know I love you that's why I'm still here with you".. Yeah, what ever.. I guess, if that's the case, then they shouldn't be praying to God as long as they still believe in Him eh?

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Less than 6 months, I'm going to be a wife..
Less than 6 months, I will have a husband to take care of..
Less than 6 months, Papa wont be paying my zakat fitrah anymore..
Less than 6 months, I'm going to live with a boy..
Less than 6 months, I will have to wake up super early..
Less than 6 months, I will have to cook and clean every single day..
Less than 6 months, I have another family and an Abah..
Less than 6 months, I can no longer hug and kiss Mama every morning before I go to work..
Less than 6 months, I still want to cry and go to sleep when we have our fights..
Less than 6 months, I hope that romance isn't just only during the early years of marriage..
Less than 6 months, I hope I were given good health to take of myself and him..
Less than 6 months and till the last day of my life, I hope we can tolerate each other and live happily ever after..

I'm having cold feet now..

Eyebag, oh no...

*Warning! This is a complaint entry blog..

I've been sleeping at 2 and having only 4hours sleep for the last 3days. I can see dark circles under my eyes. Having to do the work of 3 officers is crazy I told you. I cant take leave, works keep piling up, meetings and minute writings. Stayed at work till I'm the last one there. Works are to brought home. I kept drinking coffee to make me stay awake. Unfortunately, I have to drive to work by myself for the time being because the Subuh prayer now is at 6.10 and if Joe pick me up at home, I wont be able to arrive before 7.30. I have put on loud music so that I wont get sleepy while driving.

I totally forgot about the T****'s meeting minute until the PA contacted me asking about it. Man, it was embarrassing when people reminded me about my work. This year, my Unit is busy about the Hospital Support Service thing and we need to organize a workshop of 70 participants. Anyway, I told my boss that I'll take a 3 week leave in August and I'm going to apply my leave 2 months earlier.

I'm so tired. I'm so glad when weekend approaches. But weekends were spent doing preparation for my wedding day or visiting Bro Wan at his PLKN Camp or went out looking for houses advertised in the newspaper.

Apart from the additional colour under my eyes, I'm glad that I'm losing weight due to this hardwork and stress..

I'm sooooooooooo sleepy right now..

The coke thing

I received this image 12 years ago that made me stop buying or drinking coca-cola eversince..
A doctor made a research about the ingredients and found out that too much of coca-cola may decreases your sperm count.. This one, I'm not sure if it was published in any medical or science journal. And I did my own lab research for caffeine contents, and it contains as much caffeine as coffee.. Maybe that's the reason why some of us are addicted to it..

Dump it..

When doing spring cleaning, I always have trouble throwing the old stuff..
Cant throw that, I wish to show that to my children..
Cant throw this because it has sentimental value in it..
Cant give away those clothes, I may want to use it one day..

Then, I have another problem where I always separate my waste to paper, plastics and metal, even the smallest metal like the aromatherapy candle's cover or the aluminium foil pill's wrappers.. Batteries, we cant throw those batteries with the other domestic waste.. It'll contaminated the soil and making them unsafe and polluted for other organism that live in there.. (Therefore, use rechargeable batteries people and don't go buying those RM2 for 8 'Everyday' or 'Durasel' batteries sold in the market..) At the end of spring cleaning day, I'll have 3 bags of waste that need to be thrown at the recycle bin..

I wish to decorate my room. Since I wont be living here in another 6 months, I want my room of 18 years to be one of the guest rooms.. I'll dismantle this 2 single beds, buy a queen bed and repaint the room. This room is quite big. I can even do aerobic in here. It has it's own bathroom. It is so convenient for Sis Yanie or Sis Yanti when they come here.

I have this 3 bouquet of dried roses collecting dust on my cupboard. Joe gave to me on those special occasions. I'll take pictures of them before throwing them away.

Clothes.. I have so many of them. I don't grow that much ever since I was 15 so I still have all this old clothes that still fit me. There're all too pretty to give away.

Stuff animals.. Papa will buy me a stuff animal whenever he went for outstation as a souvenir. I've gave away some and I'm keeping the cute ones for my kids.

Bags.. All sorts of bags.. Not handbags..

Lecture notes.. So many of them. I was keeping them for my guidance and reference if I remained in the Food Science and Nutrition. But I end up doing management. So I guess the notes need to go and give their space to other stuff.

Diaries.. Yeah, I wrote them every single day since I was 14.. I have 1 on each year.. I wish to read them one day and laugh at my own stupidity when I was in my teenage lives.. Those, I wont throw..

Cassettes.. Whoever hears cassettes now? I'm dumping all of it..

Autographs.. From teachers and schoolmates.. Remember "Biodataku" that includes your favourite colour, favourite food, favourite person, best friends etc, etc with colourful pens and designs.. It will give me a good laugh when I open my so-called time capsule that has lots of old stuff during my student years after 10 years..

I haven't gone through all the stuff.. I'll continue next week.. It's so nice to see your room neat and clean, even under the beds.. It makes me wanna sleep...

My oh my...

The thing I fear most had happened yesterday.. My phone snapped into 2.. It only attached to the wire that connects that 2 parts.. Since it still working, I superglued it and it stayed intact like new.. The camera isn't working anymore.. It's ok because I always prefer to use my digital camera anyway..

This is my 3rd phone.. My 1st was Nokia 3310 that I bought when I attended Matriculation in 2002. Eventhough the phone was quite good, I bought a new phone 2 years later, Samsung's super light and slim (that time), can't remember it's model.. And again the phone was still in good condition when I bought this one, Sony Ericsson Z558i with my 1st paycheck in 2007..

The max use is only 2++ years average. Since the phone isn't used that much anymore, I won't want to waste my precious savings on buying a new one. I will use this one until it totally worn out and nothing is on the screen. I have no desire on buying the high tech handphone because I won't be using the high tech thing anyway. The handphone is used only for texting, calling out and receiving calls, alarm clock, calculator (to calculate differences when shopping) and sometimes the MP3 and the camera..

I'm not the type that will be using the 3G to check out the stock exchange. I still use my organizer for all the meetings and appointments. So my priority goes on buying a chopper blender, a nice comfy bed or a big fridge for my new home after I get married.

I'm thinking of buying a house. I know I will end up in Putrajaya for at least another 10 years since my post is a flexi 41-44 post. I'm thinking of staying maybe in Bangi or Kajang. Houses in Putrajaya are kinda expensivo. Maybe an apartment for a start. Mr.Joe has a house (above a shop) in Setapak which I thought wouldnt be a suitable place to start a family. hehehe.. Ey, it will a busy area once all the shops are opened. No, I won't be using my govt loan. Mr.Joe and I will combine our loans to buy a bigger house later.. A double story terrace with a moderate lawn for our kids and our pet, cat to play around is good enough =)

Tagged #5

Ok, I'm in the mood to do all these tags things.. This time is from Farah..

Use Google Image to search the answers to the questions below.

Then you must choose a picture in the first page of the results, and post it as your answer.

After that tag 6 people.

OK, HERE WE GO!


1. I am ...so madly in love..


2. I really want to go ................. to Mekah again... every single year..


3. My favourite place is ... my home..



4. My favourite thing is ... the comfy bed..



5. My favourite drink is....... coffee..



6. My favourite food is.... burger..



7. My favourite colour definitely is... white



8. I live in.... Selangor



9. I was born in ............ Ipoh



10. I attended...... guitar lesson when I was 15 but I don't play that well because I was just too lazy to practice..



11. My Favourite story is.............. The Sound of Music.. "..... the hills are alive, with the sound of music..."



12. This is my hobby........................ watching TV.. hehehe



13. ... and I definitely dream for............... a romantic relationship that lasted till the final day of my life..



Ok, done!

I'm tagging Yana.. Dengki because she tagged me twice =p

Tagged #4

I got this award from Liyana..
Now I'm posting this to my blog. & Let's see who the next recipients are...


1. Copy badge “Cute’s 3logger Award” and put it in your blog:


2. Describe the person who gave u this award:
Liyana is someone I knew back then when we were in primary school.. We were in different school but our schools are in the same compound.. She was the assistant head prefect.. The gefren to someone I know, Azzuan.. She's tall and slim.. And one thing we have in common is, people may mistaken us as Chinese if we went out without the tudung.. Right Yana?

3. Describe yourself - 10 facts/ hobbies.

I did this in entry Tagged #1.. But I just add a few things..

1. I'll be Mrs. Kamarul Redzuan in 6 months..
2. I don't go for brands in buying clothes and other accessories.. I like them cheap as long as they serve the same purpose.
3. I lived in Kuching for 2 years.. And those 2 years is the happiest time I had in my life..
4. I learned to play guitar for a year but the guitar and I had no chemistry together..
5. Papa send me to swimming lesson for 1++ year and I cant swim till now.. I just don't like the feeling of the water touching my face.
6. I was thrown to the other side of the road when I had the accident a year ago.. Alhamdulillah I landed on the curb.. I was given a second chance to live..
7. I like to do the cleaning work rather than cooking..
8. I love Japs Dramas.. Eventhough most of the heroes are not the macho type of man
9. I used to be so obsessed with my weight, I threw up everything I ate after each meal.. Yeah, I was a bulimic for a few months..
10. I'm half Chinese and I love it..hehehe

4. Nominates your friend/bloggers:

May I not nominate anyone? hehehe

Tagged #3

Yana tagged me.. Luckily it's Friday.. I have ample time to blog rather than sleeping till 2.45pm..

Starting time : 13:11

Name : Suraya

Sisters : 3 (older)

Brothers : 2 (younger)

Shoe size : 37

Heights : 154cm

Where do u live : Currently, Selayang

Have you ever been on a plane : Yes..

Swam in the ocean: Sure.. Especially during OBS.. Main air sampai sunburn..

Fallen asleep at school: Many2 times!! And in all those lectures during DPA's indoor modules

Broke someone’s heart : We all did...

Fell off your chair : Once and I cried like a baby..hehe

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : Sure.. Who doesn't

Save e-mails : Yes!

What is your room like : My room is a mess..

What’s right beside you: Calculator, my daily organizer, files, files and more files

What is the last thing you ate : Bakso+nasi impit..

Chicken pox : When I was 11..

Sore throat : Always

Stitches : Hopefully never

Broken nose : I dont want

Believe in love at first sight : I believe in LUST at first sight

Like picnics: In not-so-hot weather

Last person you danced with: Din the debater during DPA, the Kalamaya

Last person made you smile: Mr.Joe =)

You last yelled at : Those stupid drivers this morning

Today did you…...to someone you like

- Kissed anyone : My Mama

- Get sick : Sick in my heart..hehe

- Talk to an ex : Just last week via FB.. We're still friends.. And I still keep in touch with his mother

- Miss someone :My sisters and my niece+nephews

Who do you really hate: The zionists

Do you like your hand-writing : Yes.. It's beautiful =)

Are your toe nails painted : Nope..

Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : Joe's and with him on it =)

What color shirt are you wearing now : Yellowish green kebaya

Are you a friendly person : depends..

Do you have any pets : I hate their poo so I dont want any pet

Do you sleep with the TV on : yup. The tv, the laptop and the light on when I'm just too tired to switch them off

What are you doing right now : Counting minutes to go back

Can you handle the truth : It's kinda hard when I heard it at 1st but I'll accept it in the end..

Are you closer to your mother or father : My mama of course

Do you eat healthy : Yup

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : We never took pictures together

If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : My mama and Joe

Are you loud or quiet most of the time : Quiet.. And a bit noisy with the right crowd of friends

Are you confident : depends

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
1. I was in form 2 and had my 1st so-called bf
2. I was crazy over Backstreet Boys
3. I weighed only 38kg
4. I was in a clique we called EQSATYV
5. Getting straight A's was my goal..

5 things I would do if i were a billionaire:
1. Give 1/4 to MERCY
2. Invest the money
3. Quit my job
4. I'll go to Mekah every year with mama
5. Bought myself a nice house

5 of my bad habits:
1. Doing things last minute
2. Get mad easily when I'm under stress
3. Watch TV till early morning eventhough it's on weekdays
4. Leave used clothes on the floor
5. Sleep anywhere anytime when I feel like it

5 places I’ve lived/living :
1. Ipoh
2. Kajang
3. Kuching
4. Selayang
5. Bangi

5 things I feel grateful :
1. Having Mama and Joe by my side during my ups and downs
2. Having a nice job that can support my living
3. Friends I can rely on
4. Family members that support me
5. A good health

Not tagging anyone.. Some other time =)